Nate grabs Colin to ask him if he is Ben, because for no reason, and meanwhile Blair is being sort of amazing, and she grabs Nate and pulls him past Lily and Rufus, who are literally having this conversation: "Paper plates are bad for the environment!" "Oh, come on, Rufus. It's not gonna kill anyone if we use paper plates just for one day." "I mean, we all have to do our part." And the finishing move: "When was the last time you used a paper plate?" I just had to reproduce that, both for posterity and because I want you to understand that I am not exaggerating. That is a verbatim transcript of their conversation.
Nate and Blair watch Juliet and Colin fight, and figure out that Juliet is lying about the... Wait, that Juliet said she didn't know who Serena's boyfriend was, but now is having a secret conversation with... No. Wait, so the deal is that Nate is still under the impression that Colin is Ben and that Ben is the guy Juliet dumped him for, and not her brother who is in jail. Yes. So then Blair's like, "Proof that she is a bad guy!" But then Nate yells at Juliet for leaving him for her brother or cousin, and she... No, just for dumping him. I think. And she says that... No, wait. I had it, I thought.
I don't know. Some people know that Colin is dating Serena, some people don't, but they're not dating, and Juliet is involved with Colin in a way that makes even less sense than before, and Ben is Glory and/or Colin, and I... Give up. There is no reason for either of their asses to be at that party. There is no reason at all for Lily and Rufus to be at that party. There is no reason for Dan to be at that party, or any party. There is no reason for anyone to be at that party. It is the celebration of the birth of the greatest evil any of them has ever known. "Welcome to the world, The End Of The World!"
Dorota looks gorgeous, dressed as a person, and she's all, "Miss Blair give me many bruise" or whatever, "Please to give back my baby Miss Eleanor," and a big hook comes out of nowhere and pulls her out of there, and then Dan's friend at Interscope brings pop superstar Robyn onto the stage area to show some love. Robyn is interesting to me in that the more grotesque and inhuman she looks, the more awesome her music gets. I didn't even like one song by her until she turned the corner into full-on shrunken-apple gnome-wife. And I don't mean to be mean about her, she's great and probably in Sweden that's the new thing, and she's been great for these post-breakup drinking binges I've been on lately, a real lifesaver. I'm just trying to be honest when I say she looks like that population of little potato people the Skeksis were so into exploiting. She's got a Jim Henson pedigree. And anyway, not that she adds anything to this episode or is here for any reason whatsofuckingever: She sings a song in the background and has brought a tape of Blair drunkenly singing "Stand By Your Man" to Chuck at an afterparty in Sweden two summers ago.