Serena: "What I love about it is, everybody hates both of us. It's like the only way I'll ever have you to myself, is if you don't have another character to play against me in your neverending game of punishing me for being alive."
Dan: "It's true. I am settling for you. Which is why I suddenly want to find a new apartment, despite being on this show where literally nobody lives in their own house and just sponges off each other's parents with aplomb. Nate hasn't had a mailing address literally since sophomore year, and yet somehow I absolutely need to find a place to live. Today."
Serena: "Well, do you want help looking? I'm very competent. At what? Maybe at this!"
Dan: "Well, I can't live in Brooklyn. If I did, I couldn't hate on absolutely everyone around me for not living in Brooklyn."
Serena: "I see a LES walk-up in your imagination. Which, come on. We both know you want to live in the West Village, at least until something else is declared the new whatever. So let's start there."
Paparazzi Wolves: "Not if we eat you first!"
Dan and Serena jump on a Vespa, and he pops a literal wheelie getting away from them. It's pretty much the only thing Serena's had on her to-do list since S1. Now she can die.
Paparazzi Wolves: "Make another sex tape!"
Serena: "I can't plan that far ahead!"
Gossip Girl: "Okay, that's pretty fucking cute. I hate these two more than the rest of them put together, but that was cute."
I don't know anything, but there's a fountain prominent in these scenes that makes me think of the Bethesda fountain from when Serena and Blair made up for the first time on the show. Are there like a million angel fountains in Central Park? Not knowing is a bonus because it makes everything more symbolic or not.
Serena: "Dan that was literally the most amazing thing that has happened in my memory. Which is like fifteen seconds long, but still."
Dan: "Yeah, well. I guess we don't have to look for an apartment today. Between this hassle of the wolves, and your giant tits up against my back for the six blocks we just scooted."
Serena: "Let's go get drunk at a poor people bar. Maybe one we've already been to. My hazy plan involves playing out our original romance in slow motion."
Dan: "My hazy plan involves you paying for everything, giving me a place to live, and somebody to abuse emotionally. And also sex, but to be honest that is a distant fourth. So I guess in a way, we really are playing out our entire romance."
Serena: "In the olden days they would elect one king for a day! The biggest fool in all the land would have access, for that one day, to the finest foods and hottest chicks. And then at the end of the day, they would burn him in a large wicker man."
Dan: "Pssh. In Brooklyn that's just like, brunch. You guys are so behind all the time."