BOWERY BUMS

Dan: "Wait, you mean people sometimes pretend they don't know how to play pool, and then make boys teach them even though they already know how?"
Serena: "Uh, yeah."
Dan: "But I don't get why!"
Serena: "Then I'm not going to explain it to you. Fucking idiot."
Dan: "Remember when my adoration of you actually outweighed my constant self-righteous judgment of you?"
Serena: "Yeah, that was a real romantic six seconds where that happened."
Dan: "I think we both know it was better once I turned to full-time awfulness."
Serena: "Certainly worked for me. I love being treated like an out-of-control nymphomaniac that shops all the time."
Gossip Girl: "Spotted: Them, paving paradise. Them, putting up a parking lot. You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, or maybe until you turn a corner and there it is. From before."

Lol, Gossip Girl pastiche. Anyway, the wolves are back. Serena wants to keep drinking -- until, presumably, he fucks her on the pool table -- but Dan would rather orchestrate some complex scheme where she ducks out the back and he rides off on his stupid Vespa. They decide to sit tight and giggle some more. I think what we learned from the season premiere is that Serena can go missing exactly however long she wants, and nobody will give a shit.

TRAFFIC

Chuck: "No, I totally believe that the word 'traffic' means that Bart hid his paperwork in one of the paintings in PRADA. How does that not make sense?"
Nate: "Thank you! Just this once, the sweet taste of vindication. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go just wander into Lily's house and start fucking with their priceless art."
Chuck: "Wait, do you think anybody will stop you or question you or wonder what you're doing?"
Nate: "On this show? No. And at worst, it'll be Serena. Who has somehow become stupider than me after all this time."

WALDORF

Nelly Yuki: "...So I called and I called and I called and I called, and then I just never heard from him again."
(Whom? Lonelyboy? The Flo Rida guy? Nate Silver? We'll never know. Eventually, actually, when she is revealed as Gossip Girl, perhaps we will.)
Blair: "Is that the end of the story? Because Jesus Christ you're tiresome. Anyway, tell my mom we're best friends and I apologized, and you can go ahead and fuck yourself on the way out."
Nelly Yuki: "But that wouldn't be THE TRUTH, Blair. And my blah-blah integrity demands that I blabbity-blah THE TRUTH."
Blair: "Good God. This hour I've spent with you is every bit as painful as that would be. Just split the difference, you asshole. Just do me a favor, you fucking loser."