Gossip Girl
Where The Vile Things Are

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
Spectrum Und Drang

In all fairness, it is a very freakin' cute look on a very cute girl, objectively. Reminds me of whenever Marissa Cooper would slouch around in her shortie nightgown and Uggs and I would get so jealous of California weather I couldn't see straight.

Rufus: "She's not just sabotaging me -- or not, depending on whether she gives a shit -- but also my immensely talented artists."
Ivy: "We'd get all those art-world people back if her event were cancelled..."
Rufus: "She'd never cancel a huge benefit for me!"
Ivy: "God, you're retar... I mean, you're right. Yeah, Plan A was totally 'ask politely.' Guess it's time for Plan B."
Rufus: "Plan B must be taking over the APF fundraiser and burning through more money than she does, like we're the total new money Real Housewives trash we are."
Ivy: "Uh, yeah. Plan B is that. Totally not calling in a bomb threat. Or just killing Lily already."


Lily: "Good morning, Daniel! I hope you enjoyed not being homeless for like one night."
Dan: "Eric's room is spotless. It even still smells like him. He was a little wonder, wasn't he? Would you like some obsequious coffee?"
Lily: "Wouldn't help. I been drinking since I got up. But thanks."
Serena: "Just having breakfast wearing both a men's suit and my She-Ra costume, no big. How's the benefit going?"
Lily: "I forgot how nice to was to throw a party without that supercilious faggot Rufus Humphrey questioning my every move..."
Serena: "Whoa!"
Lily: "-- No offense, Daniel. It's just that poor people suck."
Dan: "I'm living proof. And besides, you weren't ever really married. But I think of you as my mom, which makes Chuck and Scott and Eric my brothers..."
Lily: "I don't know who any of those people are, now that I've disowned Charles and it's just down to you, shittiest of my sons."

Serena: "Dan, you remembered my simple coffee order? God, we must really be in love after all. Good thing that cardboard collage of pictures of us still hangs in my closet, where I feed it with my blood."
Dan: "Hey, remember when I fucked your best friend in the same suite as you, at Blair's house? I later lived in your room there, for a minute."
Serena: "Speaking of, did you know that the Blair chapter came out today?"
Dan: "Really? I'm such a jerk I don't even remember half the jerk shit I pull."

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Gossip Girl




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