Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Time To Make Up Your Mind About People

"I thought that if I could be the Blair Waldorf that I want to be a little sooner, that maybe I could return to Chuck before he fell for someone else." She seems to finally understand the sadness of that concept, which I guess means the Blair's Empire/Powerful Woman story is at an end. Which is in itself sad, but if it was tainted by the romance thing than it never really existed at all.

...Well, though, I mean, everything that rises must converge, and I'm sure she knew -- or could calculate -- the precise percentages of how much was to do with Chuck/how much was her actual ultimate goal, but it's not yours until you set it free &c., so maybe we can put that toy away for a while, so when it does happen it'll be because she actually is a Powerful Woman and not just acting in Powerful Woman: The Movie, starring Blair Waldorf as A Powerful Woman. Which is the only way she's ever going to actually earn the right to be happy, with him or without him: When she stops seeing this stuff as something she needs to earn.

"Meanwhile: I lost my job, I failed a test, I almost got my best friend's mother arrested. And I'm in Brooklyn, talking about it to Dan Humphrey." He gingerly asks her to stay in and have some pizza, and she goes along with it, kicking and screaming: "I think someone Freaky Friday'd me, and this can't possibly be my life," she says, and Dan says the kindest thing: "Well, it is. What do you want?"

So while Damien is bringing news of the affidavit to Russell Thorpe, and Ben and Serena are knocking boots in the Waldorf/van der Woodsen suite back home, Blair's falling asleep near, and then on, and then curled against, one massive Humphrey delt. And what are they watching?

Oh, The Philadelphia Story, of course. You know, the one about the girl so convinced perfection was possible that she nearly missed out on her life entirely? Until the intellectual snobbery of one gifted writer so intrigued and disarmed her that she cracked open like an egg, relaxed her standards for herself and everybody else a smidge, and suddenly realized the love of her life was the cad she'd spent years tangled up in love and hate with? Cary Grant didn't sell her for a hotel, but he did punch her in the nose.

Although damn, if you told me I'd ever be equating Dan Humphrey with Jimmy Stewart -- I've kissed guys based entirely on the quality of their Jimmy Stewart impression, in my day, because you gotta have some kind of standard -- I'd say you were nuts. If you told me this storyline was going to happen, ever, I'd say the same thing. So it's as perfect as anything could ever be, this trajectory. But guys, just maybe you should wake up and watch this one, because you're heading straight into it with your eyes open and the results will not be pretty for anybody. Or maybe not, because right now is about as great as it gets. XOXO.

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Gossip Girl




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