Serena, wearing Ventura Beach's entire turquoise crop worth of necklaces: "Now, what is your new personality?"
Nate: "Brothaniel Snarchibald, scion of the Flanderbilt fortune."
Serena: "Oh, Nate."

Groupies: "ARE YOU THAT GUY? FROM THAT THING?"
Brothaniel: "...Yes?"
Groupies: "CAN WE HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"
Brothaniel: "...Yes?"
Groupies: "DO YOU HAVE A NICE CAR AND RICH PEOPLE STUFF LIKE A PONY?"
Brothaniel: "Yes."

Cougar: "Is this your house?"
Brothaniel: "...Yes?"
Cougar: "Can I get a tour?"
Brothaniel: "Yes?"
Groupies: "But wait..."
Cougar, whirling around on them with her nails: "Hsssssst!"

They scatter to the winds, terrified. They will not watch him watch this wave. No soul candy for you, ladies.

Actor Patrick Roberts: "My, my. If it isn't New York's finest. Nice to see you out and about for once!"
Serena: "Wait, am I cop now? Did I reinvent myself as a cop? Maybe this is harder than I thought. Well, anyway, here are some drugs."
Actor Patrick Roberts: "Great! Wait, doesn't the entire film depend on my sobriety?"
Serena: "That's not something, apparently, about which I would know."

ROYAL LIMOUSINE/CHEZ WALDORF

Blair: "[Bitch bitch bitch]!"
Louis: "Blair, I'm so sorry that I have tried to meet every one of your insane demands. That's really mean of me."
Blair: "Why am I standing in my foyer in this amazing hand-painted-looking bamboo-print gown that is tailored to perfection? With my hair finally looking pretty? Alone?"
Louis: "I must do a thing."
Blair: "You're going with vague on this one? Why don't you just admit that you're already in the UN with your mother?"
Louis: "Because I'm not, you irascible lunatic. I don't lie. At most, I equivocate."
Blair: "FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
Louis: "...Okay, I gotta go."
Blair: "Tell your mother to go suck a fuck! I am over this!"