Because here, it's not about me. Astringently. And I don't know how else to make that clear: I get it. I think it's silly, and I think it's a function and a symptom of white middle-class privilege, in the absence of realistic motivation to get angry about sexism in your own, actual life. Which offends me, because it's past time to start the actual riot. And instead, fake Internet feminism and privileged white-girl Internet anger gets tied up in dumb TV shows and not real life, and we all bitch to the online echo chamber of people who already agree with us, and it becomes a game of oneupmanship about who gets to be the most offended, and everything is lost to the competition. The smartest, angriest, most wonderful young women and gay men fall to the pettiest competition of all, and we're the only ones that don't benefit. And I don't know how to combat that, because we all do what's easiest, unless we have to do otherwise.
Dair Shipper: "But you're a man! You're mansplaining!"
I guess so: "As long as you look at gay men as being privileged above sexism, as though homophobia is a separate issue and not the other side of the exact same issue, you are never going to understand that we're under the same pressure. Just as you wanted."
Hopeful Feminist: "But you are a man! A white man!"
Sure, and: "You have privileges of your own. The privilege to identify with abuse victims. The privilege to co-opt and identify with a gay male identity you barely understand. The privilege to get married. The privilege to play in the universal softball game known as heterosexuality."
Fake Internet Feminist: "So you're saying we shouldn't think of you as men?"
The Only Men Who Actually Carry Fractionally The Same Burden As You: "Think of us as double agents. That's how we've always thought of you."
Chuck: "Though this part of your journey may have come to an end, it shows you there's a world out there you never knew existed, one you want to be part of."
Serena: "I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but if you're not going to start a cult maybe you should write a book. Or the end of a Gossip Girl episode."
Chuck: "People like me don't write books. We're written about. Often in books illustrated by Arthur Rackham."
Team Blondes: "Okay, it's been fun watching you give yourself the happy ending of all time, but we've got various things to do. Serena has to clean out her desk, and Nate needs to get his phone back from the House Of Payne and apologize to its hostess for impersonating her to herself."
Chuck, literally: "I'll stay here, alone with my genius."