Serena: "Charlie! OMG, what are you doing in this random place?"
Cousin Charlie: "Certainly not waitressing under my real name, that's for sure."
Serena: "Then let's go shopping and spend a bunch of money and do girl talking."
Cousin Charlie: "Sounds good to me, Cousin Serena who is my cousin for sure."

Serena: "As long as you are on your meds, I am so happy to see you!"
Cousin Charlie: "As long as I can conveniently forget my purse and you pay for everything, me too!"
Georgina Sparks: Better get involved with this shit immediately.

Next week: While Ivy and Serena stir up whatever fresh hell they've got going on this year, everybody else converges on the UES. Diana Payne shows up on a Nate hunt with like a startup or something, Louis's sister Beatrice shows up to be super pretty and no doubt throw some speedbumps Ol' Crazy's way, and Dan gets some of that Charlie Trout lovin' he's been missing.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, most recently A Friday Night Lights Companion and Fringe Science.