Princess Sophie: "In our country, a bride always walks with carnations."
Blair: "I absolutely loathe carnations. You obviously didn't know that."
[Note: Carrie Bradsaw: "I think they're making a comeback."-- RS.]
Louis: "This is going to be one of those things where you say you want to marry into the royal family and then abruptly shit all over the family traditions, putting me into an impossible situation and becoming ever harder and more screeching. I can tell."
Blair: "Honey, none of us are getting out of here alive. That should have been clear."
Princess Sophie: "Vogue Paris would like to have a photo of you in my great-grandmother's wedding dress for their November issue."
Eleanor, verbatim: "Vogue Paris? Is perhaps the best thing to happen to the world. Ever."
Blair: "Yeah, they can put my engagement photos in-between the photo spreads of eight-year-olds masturbating, it'll be a hoot. But not in Sophie's ancestral wedding dress, and not holding carnations."
Princess Sophie: "Look, do you want to marry into our family or not?"
Blair: "Yes. Yes to both. I have a Milo in my womb and a crazy in my mind."
Dorota: "All aboard the Prosecco train! Everyone in this house is an alcoholic."
Gossip Girl, actually trying to form comprehensible sentences this season, texts: This just in. Due to a reader's dumpster dive outside a well-known Fifth Avenue Prewar, it appears someone we know and love is in the family way. So this is your humble Gossip Girl issuing an APPB... Who could the mother of our next scandal be? Dorota scrambles and acts super weird.
Blair: "...I can't drink Prosecco right now."
Everybody: "Why not?"
Blair: "I have suddenly gone Paleo?"
STUGOTS, 1 CUP/CHEZ WALDORF
Serena: "...I can't drink champagne right now on this yacht."
Everybody: "Why not?"
Serena: "Even more unbelievably, I have given up drinking for the summer. Now I live the LA way, which means making great healthy decisions."
New Theory: It's not psychic twin stuff, or a blatant red herring, it's just that Serena got Blair pregnant and is feeling sympathy symptoms.
Gossip Girl: "I know nobody actually cares who's pregnant, so trust me when I say you will find out by the end of this episode. And you already knew that anyway, given the only storyline that would actually twist on this. And because shippers are fucking asking for it."