Louis: "Do you want to go to that thing I said you couldn't go to?"
Blair: "When we ignore every tradition out of some misguided attempt to prove our relationship, it takes all meaning out of the relationship. You do realize that?"
Louis: "Yes, as far as the princess thing, but it also goes a long way to validating our relationship for anybody who might think I'm just a layover before the Dan and Chuck bullshit starts up again."
Blair: "Well, it's certainly working on me."
Jane: "[Producing-a-movie speak.]"
Serena: "Sorry I didn't follow up with you after our last meeting."
Jane: "When I say I hope I didn't scare you off, what I mean is that you are dead to me."
Serena: "I'm not a flake, I just didn't want to step on any cockblocking toes, such as those belonging to Marshall."
Jane: "He is a transparent little swot, isn't he? Your treachery is noted. I like it."
Serena: "I certainly wasn't suggesting that he should be..."
Jane: "Come off it, Blondie. You were tattling. Be real. Now, would you like to be a movie producer's number one guy for no reason?"
Jane makes a subtle, curt move with one hand, a command is whispered into a walkie-talkie, and on the other side of the set a blowgun is readied with a tiny dart.
Marshall: "So you pretty much got me put on probation, eh? Cool, no foul. Here's a tasklist full of totally legit and non-bogus activities..."
Serena: "Pull tomorrow's sides, update phone sheet, take dogs to groomer, write coverage of Eugenides... Buy drugs for a known addict movie star I've dealt with extensively in the past... Yep, nothing untoward here. Did you really think this would take you all day?"
Marshall: "Look, either you're a hot blonde who deserves nothing, or you're competent and resourceful. This shit is giving me whiplash. But since I resent you to an unrealistic degree, I'm just going to say good luck and hope you die in a car accident."
Serena: "Bitch, I've survived more car accidents than you have Grindr mishaps."
Patti Stanger: "That's just what I was..."
Absolutely Fucking Everyone: "Save it, loser."
Chuck: Abruptly jumps off a building, like in every episode. It is a stunt, like in every episode, but this time it's literally a stunt. He falls onto a big puffy thing, no harm done.
Zoë Bell: "If you were an employee, I would fire you! But since you're a random sex gnome that smells like Tom Ford's jockstrap, I will go on a date with you instead! You have a flagrant, devil-may-care attitude that attracts me, as a stuntwoman. And a woman. And a Kiwi."
Chuck: "Just one question. Did Quentin Tarantino ever get weird about your feet?"