Gossip Girl
Yes, Then Zero

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
The World Was A Mess, But His Hair Was Perfect

I mean, No Homo. And maybe it's just Texas pride and there's obviously something I'm missing -- smarter people than me make these decisions -- but it's so exciting to see him actually do something subtle like this. I thought he was Taylor Lautner guest-starring on Friday Night Lights this whole time, but actually I think it might be the opposite (Scott Porter guesting on 90210?) and we never knew. He's always been tied with Badgely for most adlibbed line-readings, which is usually a sign of great intelligence or instinct -- even if in both cases it resolves down to a lot of interpolated "okay" in Crawford's case and a lot of stuttering in Penn's* -- but I wonder if we haven't lost some moments due to Nate's stubborn characterization as the Third Hottie, when he should just be the Cool One. This is the downside to plot-centered, not character-centered, storytelling. The female characters have become more and more like their actresses, to great effect, while the men -- with some notable counterexamples -- still service the plot. Which is fine, because I know what the show's about and I love the show, but what works for the goose might work for the gander; especially as the show as a whole has begun moving, S4-5, in its own wonderfully intuitive direction. (To wit, and again: If it weren't for obsessive and diligent shipper brilliance, I wouldn't have understood last season at all, because I wasn't looking at it right.)

*(Until your actual job involves poring over transcripts of this show for hours, just trust me on this. It goes Penn, Chace, Kelly.)

Also, in related-looking (and -feeling) things: I refuse to live in a world where Grey Damon isn't gainfully employed at all times. That kid is great, and he is not going anywhere, so you might as well snag him while you can. How about give Nate a little brother that he needs to take care of, turn them into GG's James and Dave Franco, and call it a day. Solves every single problem. That's what I would do, anyway.

Serena: "Who cares? It was on a list that my greatest enemy on the West Coast gave me in what I'm sure was good faith. I'm more excited about these kooky strain names. Blueberry Headband? Dragon Of Shaolin? Sushi Friday? Between this joke and the sex positions last year, I'm thinking Josh Safran was born for Twitter. Or McSweeney's."
Nate: "Yeah, those are pretty hilarious actually. And inside the show, I must say that Blueberry Headband is probably the best."
Serena: "Wait. You smoke pot?"

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Gossip Girl




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