Eleanor: "Why are you dressed like you're going to the UN with the Grimaldis?"
Dorota: "She's fucking with Louis's brain again."
Blair: "And if I don't get to go to this boring shit, he can just marry his mother during sweeps instead of me. God knows they'd both love that."
Eleanor: "Sometimes I feel like the Lord Marcus/Lady Catherine thing permanently fucked you up."
Blair: "Ya think?"
Eleanor: "Look, this is nuts. Testing a good man who loves you never ends well. Sometimes you turn them gay. Sometimes the answer to the What Are You Gay test is Yes."
Blair: "In that spirit I shall declare myself. I am a Waldorf Woman. I need to know I still have a voice, and that that voice is heard. Peace out."
Eleanor: "I often wonder why Blair is the way she is."
Dorota: Wordless and yet still risibly over-the-top eyeroll. Slapsticky Dorota is the very worst kind. Why are all Sookie St. Jameses so much prettier and cooler than their material? Why can't I stop hating her?
Dan: "Hey, Louis! I am just approaching you on the street, where your security team would most likely drop me from ten yards away."
Louis: "I clearly need new security guys. What the fuck do you want?"
Dan: "I wrote a story that this magazine is publishing in their next issue, and I really don't want them to, but I have no idea how to stop it, but I figured if you put your royal weight behind it, it could be dead in an hour."
Louis: "You idiot. How does that make any sense at all?"
Dan: "The magazine is Vanity Fair. Aristo blowjobs are sort of their thing."
Louis: "Ah. Got it. Well, sorry, but you can screw."
Dan: "The story is about me putting a Milo in your fiancée's womb."
Louis: "Hop into this pumpkin-shaped diamond-encrusted carriage, and we shall away."
STUGOTS, 1 CUP
Zoë Bell: "Are you ready for our date to that party at Elizabeth Hurley's house?"
Chuck: "I thought you were bringing a third person on our date, like people do."
Zoë Bell: "No, I was going to bring Marylou along, but just for exposition's sake I should probably explain that Marylou is from the bond company and that she goes everywhere Patrick Roberts the Actor goes, because his sobriety is insured and if he falls off the wagon, the film will get shut down."