Gossip Girl
Yes, Then Zero

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The World Was A Mess, But His Hair Was Perfect

GUEST BEDROOM OF PAYNE

Nate: "I said Yes and then got fucked by a hot cougar! Named you! My best friend was right!"
Payne: "I still don't understand how this is a new philosophy. Maybe Chuck will explain it later in the episode."
Nate: "I sure hope so. Anyway, it was nice fucking you, ma'am."

Payne: "You're kind of a thoroughbred. Funnier than people give you credit for. Not that I'm going to write some kind of no-homo two page essay about it. Nonetheless, time to go now."
Nate: "Wait, this is my master bedroom. You should go."
Payne: "Uh, this is actually my house, you liar. And it's not even the master bedroom."
Nate: "Being unbelievably wealthy, I will now be cowed by your excess."
Payne: "It's a guest room. The smallest one."
Nate: "I ain't never been in a house with more'n one room before! My name's Nate."
Payne: "That's a nice name, Nate. My name is..."
Nate: "Yes?"
Payne: "Outta Here."
Nate: "Oh. Yes."

REAL TALK, II

Serena: "Oh my God, I just now figured out that you were fucking with me."
Marshall: "That's amazing. I mean..."
Serena: "Do you understand that you could have shut down production?"
Mauricio: "I had no way of knowing you would actually do the things on the list. Look. I actually need this job. I pay for things. With money. I exchange currency for goods and services. I understand that you're unfamiliar with this concept."
Serena: "Haven't you read The Beautiful & Damned? Meaning is necessary for existence. Being rich doesn't exempt me from needing a..."
Marceline: "You're Serena van der Woodsen. You do one lap around this party, you'll get ten job offers. You weren't even looking when you found this one!"
Serena: "Real Talk."
Maybonne: "And in two weeks, when you're at college, will you even look back at this as anything more than that thing you did That Summer? This is my career."
Serena: Grasps it. Isn't surfing a gas?

Serena: "Marylou, I'm the one that gave Patrick the pot. And he only took it because I told him Production okayed it. Someone played a joke on me, and if I wasn't so intent on proving my worth I wouldn't have fallen for it, but I did. I'm sorry. You can tell Jane I'll clear out my desk in the morning."
Everybody: Stares, some gratefully.
Serena, bouncing: "Outta the way, Peck!"

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