Eleanor: Stares at Blair for a while.
Blair: "Is it my hair?"
Eleanor: "No, you finally fixed that. It's this copy of What To Expect When You're Excepting that I found hidden in the pantry. Care to explain?"
Blair: "As if I've ever once been in the pantry."
Eleanor: "Come clean. Something's going on."
Dorota, suddenly: "Is me! Pregnant me, is have. Baby number two on stork train!"
Blair: "Are you fucking kidding me? You're pregnant? I was sure I was pregnant. Or Serena. But mostly me."
Dorota: "I just want to tell you first, but you were away, and it not right to text Hello, pregnant! And then you were back, but you did not let me speak, and so now news comes out this way. At least news out. And Gossip Girl talk about me. I feel so special!"
Blair: "That is the saddest goddamn thing I have ever heard in my entire life."
Gossip Girl: "Well, I guess I somehow know that Blair isn't pregnant anymore."
HOUSE OF PAYNE
Payne, verbatim because who knows: "I had no idea I was going to meet him out here, I didn't expect to make contact until New York. But something tells me I'm going to see him again. Even sooner than I imagined. Oh, much sooner! Call you later."
Nate walks in, doesn't question her total sketchiness right now, and she gives him his phone. He apologizes for pretending to be somebody else, and just in case that was interesting to her -- which why would it be -- he explains further.
Nate: "I only did it because I'm just now starting to realize that, well, I don't really know who I am."
Payne: "Nothing more interesting than the existential crisis of a person in their early twenties. There have been studies. The only things more fascinating than this are other people's vacations and other people's dreams they had last night. Who doesn't like to listen to that shit all day long? Please, tell me more about how you don't know who you are yet. It couldn't possibly be that you're a boring half-formed self-obsessed fetus of a person, no, it must be something really individual that nobody's ever thought before."
Nate: "Anyway. It was nice fucking you, ma'am."
Payne: "Agreed. PS, I am stalking you to New York. Grab a lollipop on the way out."
Jane: "You know how you got fired? Well, you're not fired. Beautiful and Damned wraps in a week, but you can keep working for me because you've been the first one in every morning and the last one to leave every night, all summer. I need someone with your dedication and fire. Although not with your stupidity, necessarily. Next time one of my tasks seems a little off-the-wall, like buying illicit drugs for the talent, you can check with me. Okay?"