Gossip Girl
Yes, Then Zero

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
The World Was A Mess, But His Hair Was Perfect

Two hos appear. Three, if you count Chuck.

Nate: "Who are you?"
Hos: "We are hos. I'm Beautiful, this is Damned."
Chuck: "Did you meet my hos? How was your nap on this yacht?"
Nate: "I need my sleep. Not that our constant games of Tickle Surprise haven't been keeping me on my toes, but I'm a growing boy."
Chuck: "I'm going to take these orchids into the galley and do things with hos."
Nate: "I can't even imagine what that means. You are so weird."

Nate stares at his Howler: Two save-the-dates, addressed to them both. Turns out they were somewhere FedEx could reach after all. He is filled with terror and a longing he can't name, and wishes -- not for the first time -- that he knew how to read.


Blair: "Living in a palace was so awesome, how can I ever acclimate to this wheezing garret I once called home?"
Louis, who is if possible even hotter than last year: "[Who knows, I don't speak that.]"
Blair: "I don't want to plan our wedding. I have a lot of shit going on. I'm in love with Chuck to fake not being in love with Dan, and I'm marrying you to fake not being in love with Chuck, and I have Schrödinger's Milo inside my womb. In my head right now it's just screaming."
Louis: "[Francophone mysteries.]"
Blair: "What a great piece of jewelry! Can I wear it to the General Assembly speech votre oncle is giving?"
Louis, verbatim: "No heroine gets her happy ending without overcoming some obstacles, and this wedding will be no exception."
Blair: "Thanks for explaining this plot point to me like I'm in third grade!"

Eleanor, downstairs: "A civil service and a religious ceremony? Who has ever heard of such a thing? Our guests will be sitting longer than a Terrence Malick movie!"
Blair: "Jessica Chastain is the Serena van der Woodsen of reality."
Louis: "[Gallic, supportive, encouraging, doomed to failure.]"


What is the name of the yacht? Do we ever find out? I want to call it Stugots, 1 Cup.


Serena: "How did you guys end up here? And whose boat is this?"
Nate: "Same question. How did you manage to find this boat? And why are you only wearing one giant Vanessa necklace?"
Serena: "Having a job I'm good at means I can Be Places now. And as for the necklaces, I am working on it. Trust me."
Nate: "Chuck won this yacht from Allegra Versace in Chiang Mai, as well as her virtue."

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Gossip Girl




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