Harold mentions a personal letter he wrote to Dean Berube -- Who would Harold's person alive or dead be? Kevin Spacey, Michael Rosenbaum, and Gene Hackman walk into a French country house -- and how it will help her chances, and Roman goes, "We will celebrate your acceptance tonight at the opera, with champagne at all intermissions. We will be so drunk, by the time someone dies, we'll just laugh." It is time to reevaluate old Roman, because that is an awesome thing to say. Harold asks if Chuck's joining, since like all grownups he loves Chuck, and because Chuck famously "loves a good tragedy." I feel like every word on this show now is in code; I see signs everywhere. Dorota, worrying about B, seconds Harold's suggestion that they find Chuck, and B is self-consciously disinterested: "He's as dead to me as his father is to him. More blueberries."

At the house of PRADA, Dan has come to walk Serena to school because it's "Yale Day," because we all know of Serena's history of anxiety that she doesn't have, and how supportive and stable Dan always never is, but really because he needs Serena around because she's everybody's valium and all he cares about now is getting into Yale. Dartmouth is like, "Getting our English department poached seemed like a downgrade at the time, but that was before we met Dan Humphrey. God closes a door, he opens a window." Serena is so not interested in listening to Dan worry over it, she literally goes pffft: "Forget you, what if I do and Blair doesn't?" Nice! Weirdly abrupt, but I'm in. Dan offers: "Fire and brimstone and a lot of bitchy asides?" Oh, come now. You're assured of that anyway. "Death by Dorota?" Better. Dan assures her all three of them are getting into Yale, enumerating once again all the reasons we're supposed to believe that, and Serena talks about how one day things are actually going to be fun and cool.