Gossip Girl
You've Got Yale!

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Tantrum Of The Opera

There's this depressing but beautifully shot Cinderella reversal where Chuck's standing at the bar drinking champagne as Blair runs across the back of the frame, trailing dress behind her, into another story entirely, and he never notices, and then Lily and the lawyer man walk up and explain that until Bart died, it was going to be all adoptions all around: Bart adopted Eric and Serena, and Lily was going to adopt Chuck, but ran out of time. So just now, the lawyer Bruce Caplan has had his office fax the papers over to the opera's box office rather than waiting until tomorrow. So then Lily will be his guardian, and become the head of Bass Industries, deposing Jack Bass and putting Chuck back on top. She's so proud of this plan and he's so into it, he signs without hesitating more than a beat (although of course he can't do it without the sideways glance and a "this doesn't make us family, just even," which at this point she finds cute because she's happy to have saved the day) and Jack immediately rolls all up on him out of nowhere yelling about how Chuck can't sign anything without his consent, and Chuck and Lily shoot Jack mean looks and take off. Lily's visual suck it is particularly evocative, but scary, because it was after all a Bass who taught us the number one rule of this show: you must never eff with an effer.

Blair launches herself out of a limo at Miss Carr, full of apologies, but Rachel's not having it. "Inviting me to a closed restaurant for dinner? Telling me the curtain is 8:00 and not 7:00?" B tries to explain: "I just wanted to teach you a lesson, so you knew who was in charge around here!" Miss Carr is horrified because that's not how it works (from what she is given to understand in her Teach For America three-ring binder, under the heading "Just Who's The Boss Here Anyway?") and tries to get out of there. Blair swears she's just trying to apologize, and then attempts to explain how her insane brain works. "I feel terrible. I do. And as much as I wish I wasn't, I'm still learning. It's like you not inflating your grades: I can't not act out against people. But I'm trying. So... Please forgive me." Miss Carr accepts, and Blair tries to get her to come to the opera, but she's had it. "I'll just see you Monday?" Relieved, B jumps back in the limo and drives away, so she doesn't notice Miss Carr dialing up Queller for a big old-fashioned tattletalin'.

Vanessa whines about she hates losing and all she got were these much better seats, and Nate -- proving once again that he is a Brooklyn Whisperer on a heretofore unknown level of proficiency -- points out the other plus of a box, which is that if the opera gets boring -- CHECK -- you have just enough privacy to mack.

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Gossip Girl




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