Gossip Girl
You've Got Yale!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Tantrum Of The Opera

Lily's in the ladies', putting on lipstick, when Jack comes in and locks the door behind him. She apologizes for carrying out Bart's wishes, but assures him she's not afraid of him. When he begs to differ, she walks her tiny ass right across the room and gets in his face: "You're high, and you're not thinking clearly. You need to think about the repercussions of what you're doing." He once again steps between her and the door, shaking all over like an old sick beast that needs its batteries replaced.

Dan and his fucking tuxedo necktie tool around listening to Rufus talk at length about how he found a guy who thought this actually was The Magic Flute, so they talked about that and pretended that was what they are watching. "I'm beginning to get these society people. It's all a big game of pretending like you know what you're talking about." Oh God, more of that moronic "my world"/"your world" talk must be close. But first, Lily has vanished. Dan asks Chuck where she's at, and Chuck's Fellow Rapist Spidey sense kicks in, and he immediately goes over to the locked powder room door, asking the poor lady outside WTF is going on in there and why the door's locked. The lady's like, "I just need to pee, weirdo," and he runs off yelling about the door being locked.

Inside, Jack yells at Lily about how she's squeezing him out and taking away his power that he worked so hard to earn, and then shoves his tongue down her throat. For a reason I do not understand, the whole scene starts sounding echoing and strange, like it's a memory, except it's not, so you can't really understand everything that they're saying ("Who in this town wouldn't believe that the whore didn't ask for it?") and finally Chuck comes in and punches the shit out of Jack, effer to effer, and Jack's like, "You stupid kid!" so Chuck punches him again so he'll stay down. Rufus just kind of stands there at the door watching all of this go down, but I don't really feel like I needed to tell you that. She thanks Chuck very intensely on her way out with the cops and Rufus and everything, and Chuck pulls it together in the ladies' bathroom before going out again.

Next day in bed, Rufus is like, "My hair in these society page pictures looks more terrible than it has since 1991!" Lily's like, "Also not a picnic? Getting raped by a cokehead." She assures him she's fine, and Chuck comes in, and Rufus shakes his hand, man to man, on his way out. Mother and son discuss how Jack's on his way back to Sydney, and she didn't press charges because she just wanted him gone, and now she's the head of the entire multibillion-dollar company. She tries to link it back to how awesome it was when he saved her from getting raped by his uncle, but that's too much like having feelings, so she's just like, fine: it's all going to be his when he turns eighteen, no questions asked. HE smiles sweetly, quietly delighted, and asks her to clarify. "I don't want this job or the corporate jet or anything related to this business. Just you. As a part of my family." Chuck essentially apologizes for everything since the funeral, and asks to come home.

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Gossip Girl




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