Serena watches the Plastics refresh for awhile, spurred on by the pretty-much-insane-now Queen B, but then they all get the news at the same time: Nelly Yuki and Serena were accepted, but they don't say anything; everybody else is horrified by Blair's results: waitlisted. Even though it's on Penelope and Isabel and Hazel's phones clear as day, B still has the Blairwithal to go, "I'm sorry. I... I simply can't read it. The font's too small. I have to check it on a real computer." Nelly grabs it and puts her on shout, and just as B is trying to figure out her next move, Dan comes running up squealing and moaning and smelling like Nate's cologne, because he got into Yale too. Worst case scenario! Serena lies and says she got waitlisted, and Blair goes totally 'round the bend, all, "I need to see the Headmistress... RIGHT NOW!" This last so loud and shrill and scary that somewhere under a full Parisian moon, Agnes raises her head to the sky and just howls along with her.
Chuck explains to Lily that he is just getting cockblocked like crazy as far as bringing Jack Bass down, because they are too much alike. "He thinks too much like me, sees me coming." That right there is a red flag, Lily. Pay attention. "And the way he's running the business, I worry everything my father had worked for will be lost." Chuck says he thought, now that she has a stake, she might care about that at least, and she shakes her head, refusing to pretend to hate him the way he's pretending to hate her. "I do care, Charles. But my concern is for you, not the company." She begs him to move back to PRADA, but he just recoils and gets nasty about it, of course.
Lily's like, "I'm down with your issue and your cause or whatever, but you have to shape your game up. "Planting coke in his gym bag? Ambushing him with a transsexual hooker?" Two, actually. But really? Plus the one he picked up in Thailand? Seriously? Is this a numbers thing or what, like, if I went out and got a hundred random hookers, how many of them would have dicks? I have to ask my public defender friend about this, because at this point Jack constantly getting surprised by this exact thing is looking sort of disingenuous. Fool me once, okay. But fool me three times, including two times at the same time, maybe the only person fooling me is me. And where did Chuck get two transsexual prostitutes? "They owed me a favor." I... don't want to know what kind of trouble a transsexual prostitute can get into where Chuck is the better option.