Lily sort of convinces Chuck that vendetta thinking is not the greatest idea right now, and maybe he should be thinking about doing this like a grownup, but clearly he doesn't know how to do that yet, so she offers to take care of it like they would on TV, and maybe he'll reconsider his living situation. "Don't hold your breath," he says, nodding, and takes off. She smiles and nods because whatever, at least he's alive and in the U.S., and quietly asks if he'll come back later.
Blair screams at some woman they're trying to tell us is Queller even though she is plainly not Queller, all how Berube said Yale could use a girl like Blair Waldorf, and now apparently they've found a girl like Blair Waldorf elsewhere, and Fake Queller tells her to chill out and that B is next in line: if the student they accepted turns them down, she will be in. "Dan Humphrey? He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery. You couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands with the jaws of life." Queller, clutching at her coffee mug to avoid laughing hysterically at how awesome Blair is, says she was not talking about Dan. "Someone from Constance got in?" B asks in a hush, sitting quickly. Queller gives her a short speech about how her transcripts and everything are perfection, and most waitlisted students eventually get into their college of choice no matter how much freaking out they do in the meantime. "I know that patience and trust aren't necessarily your strong suits, but you'll just have to rise to the occasion, hmm?" I like Queller, but I don't trust this replacement lady -- although extra point for refusing to tell B who the lucky girl was, no matter what corner or shadow she pops out of to ask.
Miss Carr congratulates S on getting in, but Serena hushes her. Neither Dan, who got in, nor Blair, who was waitlisted, can know that S got in without even trying, and doesn't even want to go there. "It sounds like you're worrying about other people when this is a decision about you. Do you want Yale?" Serena, amazed as she always is when people give her the benefit of an opinion, which is rare, realizes she was only interested in Yale because B was being a bitch, and then because Dan was going, which is lame but not as lame as how she's only getting into Yale because they want an It Girl onboard. "I would never advise anyone to turn down a great opportunity, but going to the right school for you is the most important thing."
Blair runs up and immediately starts babbling at Serena about how a Constance girl got in, and probably it was "that little Nelly" Yuki, who is now marked for death. B finally winds down and stares at Miss Carr, who seems to have missed the part of the conversation where she fucks off. It's a fairly hilarious combination of that "Blair just realized you exist" face crossed with the "Blair needs you to not exist" face, and she finally grits, "Hello?" Miss Carr hands over Blair's paper from first period, and finally takes off.