"And now I'd like to present Serena Celia van der Woodsen, daughter of committee member Lilian van der Woodsen, granddaughter of Chairwoman Emeritus Celia Catherine Rhodes, escorted by Carter Baizen. Miss van der Woodsen hopes to bed as many billionaires as she can, before settling down to..." I love that her laugh here is just joyful. Serena loves train wrecks too. Lily is kind of weirded out, like it doesn't feel as good as she wants it to, and Cece has a total breakdown in the face area. "Miss Isabel Coates, uh, presented by Raymond North, daughter of Arthur and Iris Coates..." Raymond North, also adorable. You know, Kati and Iz, everybody feels so bad for them being the Minoriteens and wearing their little outfits, but on the other hand, how great to date twins and whatever. It's like the thing that keeps Blair and Serena from being Kati and Iz is the same stuff that keeps them from being happy. So Kati and Iz, on this level, are actually better at life than either B or S, because you know they'll do exactly what it says on their presentation statements, whereas B and S couldn't have normal lives if they tried. There's a benefit to being vague and passive, is all I'm saying. Just remember what deals you're prepared to make.

Dan shows back up at the gallery, admitting that he has been bested by Cece. As though there was any question. "She has a habit of doing that, but maybe it's for the best. You're here with your family." Or most of it: Alison naturally wonders where the daughter she alienated might have gone off to, and Dan's like, "Or you could give it ten minutes before you get mad?" No, Dan. Get mad now. It's Jenny we're talking about. Alison revs up her excitement and takes her second-favorite child on a tour of her shitty art.

Group dancing! And the Pierces! Performing at cotillion! This is what I am talking about! Come on, show, be like this more often! Blair watches Nate staring scarily at Carter dancing with Serena, and does the math, which is that Nate is still into Serena. Which isn't true, but Chuck has cast a spell that now includes everybody. "We're friends now, right? You can tell me." Carter laughs as they trade off, joking that he's a better dancer than Nate; Chuck whispers to Nate that he's telling her what he's going to do to her later. It's very Shakespearian, because nobody can hear him say this but Nate, and there's no way he could have heard what Carter was saying, so it's like this dreamlike hot mess. Love it. Nate jumps all over Carter and starts a big huge fight. And I'm sure all of Society is like, "I heard his dad was a cokehead, too." Blair bitches that the boyfight ripped her dress, which was custom-made of course, and begs Jenny to fix the dress so she won't get in trouble. Jenny is trying to leave for the gallery, but Blair promises all will be forgiven.