Things get even more ludicrous.
Chuck: "I have a story for you! My therapist, Dr. Eliza Barnes, has been using hypnosis to coerce me into performing unspeakable acts!"
WHAT? That's amazing. Let's stick with that.
...Or just pretend he didn't say it, for some reason.
Barnes: "My name is Dr. Elizabeth Barnes, and I did not hypnotize Chuck Bass."
Diana: "That's cool, but why are you at my party?"
Chuck: "Okay, she didn't hypnotize me into doing unspeakable acts. I don't know why I said that. But she did take money from a guy at a dog park."
Diana, verbatim: "Now that's a story I can print!"
Blair, out of nowhere: "Chuck, stop accusing people of things! You must be trying to ruin my marriage or something." Chuck: "Yes, it's both. Your fiancé was the one paying her!"
Gossip Girl: "Don't worry, B. You're still marrying a prince... Of fools!"
I defy you to explain why or even how any of that mess went down. What a bullshit turn of events. It's like, if you explained to somebody about Georgina Sparks and why that was good, maybe you could end up with Juliet. And if you explained Juliet but forgot to explain why it was pretty good, then you would end up with Diana Payne the Human Plot Device, just running around throwing parties and being weird and Chuck yelling random shit about how he got hypnotized.
Blair's point is that Louis should not have been arguing with her about her scheming proclivities, although technically he never did, but it was hypocritical of him to then turn around and scheme about Chuck. Louis's point is that he found the paternity test that proves she cheated on him. Louis wins.
Louis: "The paternity test showed me that some part of you thought you might still have a choice to make. And I needed you to see that Chuck will always be the wrong one."
Blair: "Louis, I don't know how many more times I can say this, but Chuck and I can never work."
Louis: "I'm guessing you will be saying it as many times as there will be episodes before our wedding gets cancelled and you have a miscarriage. That is how many times."
Blair: "Chuck destroys everything and everybody in his life. And he'll never change. But what's scaring me is that you're changing into him."