So let’s see. Dan and Georgina hooked up, in a “didn’t sleep with her but might as well have” kinda way (and thanks to Dan for that classy description), while Rufus and Lily hooked up in the more typical “boned all night and woke up confused” kind of way. Bart summons Lily out of her boyfriend’s bed to discuss their wedding -- which is today -- and the fact that she needs to grow the eff up and stop dating rock stars. Lily agrees, with a few caveats.
Dan and Blair get Mean Girl on Georgina, luring her to Central Park and then springing her parents on her; she goes to a reformatory and the whole thing takes five minutes and none of it seems to involve Serena, whose storyline this was, as recently as last week. Maybe she was too busy getting crunk enough to think that her bridesmaid’s gown is something that should be worn by anyone not currently drinking a mint julep in the Antebellum days or running a whorehouse in the Wild West.
Rufus appears to Lily in the moments before the wedding to … whatever, they agree that they are in love but that Lily should marry Bart anyway. They apparently think they’re capable of making decisions suddenly. At the wedding itself, even though Dan magnanimously forgives Serena for all the horrible things she’s done -- such as calling him for 24 hours straight while he was fucking her worst enemy, then letting him get away with it -- Serena is still weirded out. Even Blair thinks S is the bad guy here. So then Dan forgives S, and S forgives Dan...and Dan dumps her anyway, for weird reasons, but then the wedding planner makes them dance together, so they’re back together, but then they’re not again. Or something. I mean, it’s Dan.
Chuck gives a great speech at the reception which causes Blair to fall in love with him; he also spots Nate’s Dad skipping town and gives Nate the opportunity to bust him one in the face, which also causes Nate to fall back in love with Chuck. It’s all very gay and romantic.
Then it’s a week later, and everything switches around again: Blair is heading to visit her pére in France, but will be taking a week-long sidetrip to Tuscany with the newly reformed and romantic Chuck. Serena is going to the Hamptons for the summer, Dan and Vanessa are hanging in Brooklyn, Jenny is interning through Parson’s for Eleanor Waldorf (!), Rufus is on the road with Lincoln Hawk backing up the Breeders, and everybody’s okay...
Except a well-meaning congratulations from Bart sends Chuck into a caddish tailspin and he ditches B at the airport so they can both hook up with people who are not only weirder-looking than everybody usually is on this show, but not even that cute. Dan and Vanessa seem to be edging towards true love, which is just about perfect, and then worst of all, Nate and Serena seem ready to actually start dating, rather than just hooking up in front of her brother and then splitting up so Serena can murder people when she’s not even wearing pants. A lot can happen in a week, no? Can’t wait to see what all will go wrong over the summer.
I’ll see you in the fall. You know I love you. XOXO.
Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen, wandering Central Park in the wee hours in a gold lame raincoat looking utterly insane as the sun comes up over the bridge. Taking a page from Miss Georgina Sparks's Big Book Of Crazy -- or is that Daniel Humphrey's Big Book Of Lazy Stalking Gestures -- Serena has decided to spend the night roaming around town calling Dan's phone like a loon instead of going over to his house, as though by some trick of the cellular network she'll be able to overhear Svetlana giving him a blowjob. Although I guess with Georgie you can't just assume they go back to his place; she probably has a lair in the sewers like the big sexy Morlock that she is. Still, though: Serena, you could at least go wait for him there. Ask Vanessa for some tips on scaling the building, even.
"Here it comes in the morning / I'm just trying to forget / Keep it real, keep it simple / ...This city is endless / And I'm walking alone..." Anyway, she's like, "I just filled up your voicemail probably, so I guess now I have to make a decision, so I'm coming over." She hails a cab, running out into the early morning street on her teeter-totter shoes. I guess when you're eleven feet tall you don't necessarily feel like learning to walk in heels, but the occasion of your mother's fourth wedding -- in which Serena's clomping plays a major part -- is probably not the best opportunity. Especially dressed, as we'll see, as some kind of Cirque de Soleil Madam on Stilts. Plus, what about weddings one through three? Did she "wear" heels then too? Book Serena would totally go barefoot to her mother's wedding and all the society types would be like, "She smells like sandalwood, I must make her my muse."
"Sunlight creeps in between the curtains ..." Rufus and Lily wake up in bed together. BED! TOGETHER! Rufus is sporting some hot '90s Cantrellabe ink. He's also got about a billion rocker bracelets. With that puppy-dog look he gets in the morning, all he needs is some of Georgina's eyeshadow and he could turn into Avril Lavigne right before your eyes. Unless Georgie ran out of eyeshadow -- high probability there, because she's evil and has the eye makeup to prove it -- but they could still just scrape some off and slap it on him, and most of the poor makeupless children of this country, and her look wouldn't change in the slightest.
Rufus answers his phone quietly, trying not to wake Lily, and without even looking or moving or stirring in any way, she says quietly, "Who is it?" I loved that, like they're a team and she's like, "What now?" Now, though, is Leaky Hawk's manager calling to say that now that Luscious Jackson's reunion fell through but Kim Deal's still going strong, Leaky Hawk is going to open for the Breeders on tour. (I wish I was watching this with my sister, she'd be like, "Who is Luscious Jackson? Does he play the banjo?") Rufus hangs up with an OMG that is echoed by a quieter, more horrified OMG from Lily.