Blair: There, there, Georgie. It's gonna be okay...
Mrs. Sparks: -- No, this time, it won't.
Blair: ...Or it won't!
"Your parents were so worried, G! They told me everything! How you're supposed to be on the equestrian circuit, but sold your show pony for cocaine..." (!) G flips into total celeb rehab-speak without a thought, acknowledging that as a "difficult time," but one she's put behind her. "When? When you were in rehab? It's hard to get clean when you hitchhike into town, steal a credit card and book a ticket to Ibiza." G starts to lose composure: "You didn't see where they sent me, I mean, that place was awful! It was... It was in Utah! At least I lasted longer than Lohan!" Georgina!
She tries to run away, like, literally escape, but the bodyguards and her horrible parents crowd in closer. "Stay, Georgina," says Blair. "I'll go. ...Oh, that reminds me! I almost forgot to leave you the information that I discussed with your parents." Mrs. Sparks totally says, "A boot camp for troubled girls!" And B hands her the brochure ("PENANCE!"), whispering, "Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here." She straightens up and smiles brightly. "Have fun at reform school!"
The Humphrey Men (and eventually Ladies) of DUMBO have a boring conversation of which the highlights are: Rufus fully refers to something as "an historic moment," they kind of hop about on one foot each around the fact that they both got laid last night, gross, nobody cares about Rufus's band in reality, nobody cares about Dan's relationship with Serena in reality, the wedding is happening today, Rufus acts disingenuous some more, and Dan tells his Dad about how it was Serena's fault that Lily didn't meet him that one sad night, so then a horrible plan begins to form in Rufus's mind and he bounces, and then Jenny comes out of her bedroom having inflicted the most hideous dress ever seen on this show on poor Vanessa Abrams, and the poor thing's too ignorant to even know how awful she looks in it, but luckily so is Dan, so he says she "cleans up nice," which isn't even true because she's perfectly lovely all the time except for right this second, and then the Three Biggest Assholes in Brooklyn head out to annoy the Upper East Side, one of them wearing an orange batik version of the California Raisins garbage-bag costume so beloved in our childhoods and an entire Bird of Paradise shrub stapled to the side of her fucking head, all of them po-faced and raring to be above it all even unto the people soon to be staring at them for drinking from the fingerbowls.