In the library, Catherine is saying something very interesting which is sort of about Nate's mum, but is really about her, and by extension everybody on the show: "I think Anne Archibald would rather die than lose her house, her things. They're her whole identity." Nate knows the truth of that, and swears again that he will fix it somehow. "God, but it's not what she's gonna have to live without. It's what she's gonna have to live with! I mean, a scandal will destroy her. Can you imagine her watching her house seized, her grandmother's jewels up for auction?" ("Grandmother's jewels" being, if last season is any indication, a reminder that Nate will whore himself out for his family in the time it takes to say "federal prosecution," and thus to prepare us for the rest of the episode.) He says again that he's going to fix it, going to fix it, and Catherine just looks worriedly at him, because no he's not. She gets all seductive and puts forth the idea that Nate fixing it and Catherine buying that sweet ass wholesale might be one and the same thing. "It'd just be between you and me. No one would have to know. I care about you, Nate. I would do it for you." Nate asks what he'd have to do in return, and her kiss is one answer, but what would be awesome is if she pulled a Helen Hunt/Nicole Kidman and made him kill her husband. Whose name could then turn out to be Ferdinand, and the season would end in a world war of unforeshadowed brutality.

Best sequence of the week: Blair asks Dorota where the Duchess is, ready for round three, and is directed to the library. An awesome Santogold song goes crazy as she walks down the hall, blocking out all sound. (Got no need for the fancy things/ All the attention that it brings/ Tell me no I say yes, I was chosen/ And I will deliver the explosion... Me, I'm a Creator/ Thrill is to make it up/ The rules I break got me a place/ Up on the radar/ Me, I'm a Taker/ Know what the stakes are/ Can't roll it back, it's understood/ Got to play our cards...) Blair looks around the library and doesn't see anything, but just as she's turning to leave she hears two things: Nate's familiar moan, and a strange answer. She goes back in: Nate's on top of the Duchess, with his shirt up over his head. And in the immortal words of Blair Waldorf: "Oh my effing God!"