Rufus sits in his sad little cave of sadness playing three sad chords over and over in a desperately sad song of sadness, and even Vanessa is like, "Whatever movie he's scoring sounds depressing." ("...Unless it has subtitles, and then it's motherfucking on.") Dan pronounces it a "biopic," and I don't think I've ever heard somebody say that out loud: "Try listening to that for three weeks straight. But before Christmas, my dad hadn't finished a song in years, so I really don't have the heart to ask him to stop." Vanessa stands up to tell Rufus to stop -- playing his own guitar in his own house -- because she's got her own creative outlets to pursue -- in Rufus's house, which is not her house, because she lives on the streets, by her wits ["don't forget 'in an alley,' like Rayanne Graff" -- Sars] -- and Dan's phone rings, and of course it's Serena, because Dan has no friends, unless you count Vanessa, which I really wish you wouldn't.

Of course Vanessa shoves her stupid camera right up Dan's left nostril the second he answers the phone call from his girlfriend, because God forbid, and then Dan and Serena have a gross little, real little exchange of the "Were you missing me?"/"Were you missing me?"/"Shmubby-blubby-moo?"/"Skeezle-beelze floo?" variety. Serena invites him to the pool party, which would apparently "be a lot more fun if you were here," and Dan notes that, in his big notebook about what Serena's doing at all times and where, he had her scheduled for a "quiet night with Blair." I submit to you that nobody but Dan Humphrey believes in such a thing. It's apparently the last night before Eleanor comes home, though, so they were going to live it up, quietly I guess. I love how with the whisk of a pen they can have Eleanor in town, back in Paris, over there, up the flue, in the kitchen with Dinah, and it never, ever matters anyway. "We were, and then Kati and Iz showed up, and we all went out, and we ran into some people and then ended up here." Which is? "719 E. 82nd Street." Which is? The Constance Billard/St. Jude's School for Young Hooligans and Ill-Advised Young People. Of course. "Bring your bathing suit!" she yells exuberantly, and hangs up. "So what will it be, Dan -- Cheerios and Chaucer, or..." (Like that sentence ever ended with, "The first one, totally!") "... An illegal party at your prep school pool with your high society girlfriend and her nasty cohorts?" Without even thinking, Dan calls out to Rufus that they're going out, and drags V along.