Charlie: "I like eating candy for breakfast! Now that my mom is back in Florida and I'm off my meds I can do whatever I want! As long as it's super crazy."
Dan: "Having a crazy person here sticking random things in my mouth takes me back to the days when Georgina and I were raising our Russian baby together. One time she slipped me so much acid I stayed up for three days. There was electricity running all over my brain like a fishnet of electricity and you could see it with all the lights turned off."
Charlie: "I am totally having that same thing right now."
Charlie: "Do you like books? Tell me your favorite book so it can be my favorite book."
Dan: "Actually, Cousin Peepers, why don't you tell me yours first, just for the novelty."
Charlie: "My favorite book is Flowers in the Attic."
Dan: "Really? Because that's like right above Catcher in the Rye, as far as books a crazy person might love."
Charlie: "I know one crazy person that loves your writing! It is me."
Dan: "Does it remind you more of Fitzgerald or Proust?"
Charlie: "It reminds me of poorly disguised fan-fiction that a sad poor nerd from Brooklyn might write about his own life, so I guess more like Updike?"
Dan: "You know how you didn't go to high school with us? I bet you'd really love our black tie alumni fundraiser that is happening tonight. I know I am excited because my years at St. Jude's are so full of happy memories. Mostly Nate punching me, me punching Chuck, everybody taking showers. Lacrosse."
Charlie: "That sounds great, and not at all boring for either of us. Will they have Serena's skin there so I can stretch it over my own skin and walk through a door of flesh into an unearthly paradise of pain and pleasure?"
Dan: "Um, what?"
Charlie: "I said Do you like Sour Patch Kids."
Blair: "Cyrus and Eleanor, thanks for putting together this whole pretend engagement party for my pretend engagement."
Eleanor: "As long as you're unhappy I wouldn't miss it."
Blair: "Why is there VitaminWater everywhere? Is Agnes coming to set us on fire?"
Eleanor: "No, it's because [so much talking about some things]."
Blair: "That was like product placement inside product placement inside product placement. I can't tell what is even a real thing and what is a reality augmentation and what is just part of the storyline or for next week. Are you incepting me?"
Eleanor: "No, I am judging you."