(That part is not a lie. We both know that I would totally lie and say Tinsley was there even if she wasn't -- with like a basket of four-leaf clovers and a magical hat that grants wishes, because she truly is like a unicorn in person form -- but in this particular case it came out not of my head, but of Gossip Girl's. And yeah, she is dressed crazy, but not that crazy. As a wise man once said, "Taste is a matter of taste.")

"Oh, look. Actually, here's someone I know coming right now," says Jenny, with none of the bitchiness those words suggest on the page. Eric introduces them to Tinsley Mortimer with much excitement w/r/t Jenny and not so much enthusiasm for Laurel. Tinsley and Jenny have a somewhat soul-killingly awkward conversation about this and that, "I have a look book full of pictures of you" and "you're so sweet" and "I used to cut your name into my abdomen with tiny little shallow cuts" and "OMG. Me too" and "I thought that if I said your name out loud a thousand times before 'We Break The Dawn' ended on the radio that we would be friends and now it came true" and "That's how I chose my husband" and "You have amazing taste" and "I can tell you're not lying." They talk about how Jenny's a "fashion" "designer" who is "wearing" currently one of her own "pieces" even though it's not white. And speaking of bone, I think I can see one where Laurel's digging her nails into her hand.

Blair totally tries to bluff: "Is something wrong?" Yeah, the whole making-Chuck-jealous thing. Is wrong. Blair denies and denies and finally James says something so effortlessly dorky and dumb that he instantly becomes my new favorite character: "It's no wonder you hate Charade. It hits too close to home." Now either Gossip Girl or James has not seen the movie, because it contains no actual charades or games of charades or anything that would make sense here. There are more identity games in Tiffany's for starters. (And if you think you haven't seen it, you have, it's the one Julia Roberts finishes watching before she goes downstairs to hear Richard Gere play a song on the piano, which he himself wrote, and this is what Richard Gere is like, all the time. Imagine.) Blair smiles that "asking a favor" smile that means she's edging up on begging, and tries to explain in a way that would only make sense if you A) were Blair and B) knew the whole story: "You don't understand. Chuck is an awful person. He does terrible things. He uses people!"

James points out that so does she, and he's Exhibit J. "I can't believe I've been so stupid. I bet you don't even like me at all." Blair rolls her eyes, but she knows when a jig is up. "...No. Not really, I mean... You're kind of boring." That is so awesome, I can't believe she said that. James asks if he actually is, or if she actually has no idea and never bothered to find out because she's an asshole. He nods to Chuck and leaves, telling her they deserve each other, and Chuck sliiiides on up beside her. "You really know how to hurt people. I admire you for it." Blair tells him it's his fault, because she wouldn't even have needed a James if he hadn't pulled his little stunt: "You made me use him!" Chuck points out that he did nothing, and she was just being her usual weird, manipulative self: "Don't you see? We're the same. Stop trying to fight it." Blair's fake tan is all, "I will fight until my last dying breath, because any resemblance to you is something I would hate about myself!" She runs off into the Vitamin Water White Party and he stands still in the middle of the Vitamin Water White Party but honestly they're both being exactly the same amount of ridiculously dramatic.