Dan hides behind Jenny's gorgeous hardwood Constance Billard locker. Those get major play in this episode; have we seen those before? I want to marry them in a civil ceremony. Because "hiding," in this case, means "standing awkwardly near while slouching and darting one's eyes from side to side," Jenny points out that he'd be the worst P.I. ever. Worst P.I., yes. Best ex-boyfriend ever? Probably. I know that seeing him lurking around in plain sight and using that "hide behind the ficus that my sister is becoming" technique would soothe a good deal of hurt feelings instantly.

When Dan starts talking about his "fear" of being "caught off guard" and his "surprise" that he hasn't run into her yet, Jenny must inject a little reality into the proceedings: "Yeah. Especially because you're ... in the Girls' hallway. Looking for her." He laughs, apparently not realizing that once again even the brain-damaged can see through his BS, and she warns him to be nice to Serena when he does run into her, as he has proven he is desperate to do. Because after all this is harder on her: all he has to do is be Dan Humphrey -- which is like having a bad haircut, because you can't see it even though everybody else is suffering -- while she has to live with the eternal shame of having dated him multiple times.

Jenny spots the Plastics coming, and immediately flails around as much as possible so that they will come up and stab her or whatever and get it over with, but they're too busy listening to Terry Gross on their iPods and don't even look at her. Neither Victim nor Project, Jenny feels more "individual" than ever! And it turns out she, like her brother, totally hates it! Despite their protestations to the contrary, they are Lonelypeople! Dan "comforts" the newly inducted Lonelysister: "Welcome to my world. It's not so bad, once you get used to birds flying into your head, and automatic doors never opening." Jenny laughs, because for once "weird" and "funny" actually intersected for him, and he deserves to be encouraged. "I guess it's better to be ignored than tortured," Jenny says shakily, knowing as she says it that this is only the defense of losers and ugly girls. Dan leaves her to stand there terrified and heads over to St. Jude's, since it's getting late in the AM (meanwhile Nate is coming from Williamsburg, people) and there was no S spotted.