Dan name-drops Jay McInerney, having spotted his new novel among the things he's just jostled out of Amanda's arms, but leaves out the part where his dickless self earned said novelist's eternal disdain. "The point is, whoever dates first wins. And with your ex being Dan Humphrey, you win by default," says Blair, and S kinda laughs at that, as they come closer and closer to seeing this creepy little tableau. Gossip Girl starts licking her chops! "Looks like Humphrey defied our great expectations, and Waldorf's Rules Of Order. Daring to date before Serena?" S and B stare at each other; Blair gets a little nervous. "It's only a matter of time before it's off with his head... Or hers." Serena smiles ruefully, because she knows as well as we do that this won't end without all the aforementioned heads rolling, and probably a few more. Queens always know.

Amanda's file, Nelly Yuki explains, is a bit "sketchy," since she's a sudden transfer. "Her father's with the UN, she's traveled the world, she won the short fiction award at her last school..." Serena tells B to drop the reconnaissance but B isn't hearing it: "S, this girl is Dan with boobs!" The Plastics giggle, sensing blood in the water. "Do you really want to see them read together all year?" HA! She tells Nelly Yuki to move Amanda to the front of the line, and S shakes her head. "Look, I appreciate it, but you're making way too big a deal out of this. So he was talking to someone. So what? It doesn't mean anything..." She swears she's fine, and leaves; Penelope notes that this is a lie and B hands the file over: "Call her a Person Of Interest."

Vanessa does coffee-type things at the Bedford, and spots Catherine entering in a lovely green cougar dress. "What a lovely little gallery," Catherine says, dripping with venom; Vanessa is at best unfriendly in response. "I know Nate paid you a visit this morning, and I just wanted to thank you. Show my appreciation for respecting our agreement?" V replies, holding her own, that Catherine's best option is to gratefully make like a tree and get the fuck out. Instead, Catherine hands her an envelope: "Open it and see..." V does, and sees a check for five thousand American; she looks up to bitch at Catherine about her total lack of morals or whatever, but Catherine has vanished into the mist like a vampire. Vanessa stares around, totally grossed out, and stupidly doesn't even consider spending the cash because she's from Brooklyn, home of superiority and causing trouble for normal people all the time.