Dan snags a mask from some very friendly drunk dude who's coming out of the party, and then takes on his identity and heads inside. Round the back, Vanessa and Jenny have a whole additional conversation about how Vanessa is better than all of this. I guess it's "pretentious," Vanessa. I guess you've got it all figured out. Bless your heart. She trades Jenny's (admittedly ugly) purse for an elegant fan, and disappears back into her Fairy Godbottle, or to drink ironic beers under bridges with the homeless, or whatever it is that pointless scenesters are doing these days, injecting absinthe into her eyeballs and measuring how skinny her boyfriend's jeans are. Jenny, meanwhile, is radiant. She just geeks on in there and tries desperately to be sultry. The music is awesome -- it's like a heist. She even turns around on her heel, like, so in love is she with the rich pageantry. B's there, wearing all black, with a handheld domino, sending her ladies off to do her bidding while N watches sadly from across the room and Serena dances with Edward Abbott. Jenny wanders at random, I guess trying to get caught, and Dan immediately spots Serena, obviously, because her mask is like this idea that a mask had one time but then didn't follow through. Edward Abbott is wearing this pirate costume and a giant goofy grin, so you know he's a tool, but Serena's having fun, because it's Serena: girl likes to have fun. "What was it we said about appearances? Yes, they can be deceiving." Less is more, GG. "But most of the time, what you see is what you get." I'm "seeing" a lot of big talk and no dancing, Gossip Girl. What I'm getting is a party, and let's see, that's the...sixth party we've seen, and they all look just like this. That's what I'm getting.
V wanders around with no mask, too in love with her superiority to realize how that kind of ruins everybody else's fun, and taps some random dude -- she accidentally got Jenny's house keys when she took away her purse. V finally puts on a mask after brushing some dude aside, and then makes a variety of snotty bored faces so everybody knows how much she hates their stupid party. I bet Vanessa eats everything with chopsticks. Over where there's actually fun to be had, Blair and Chuck watch Nate desperately to sort out the three or four things actually happening inside his head, to no effect. Chuck's all, "If I were your man, I wouldn't need clues to find you," and I'm pretty sure Blair thinks Chuck is gay too: "Or to ravish me, I'm sure." His gaze immediately falls upon Little Jenny Humphrey, who is wearing a dress not unlike the one Serena's wearing, thanks to Vanessa, and is like, "Who is that hot tweener?" "Probably some bitch from Chapin," Blair bites back, which made me laugh, but not as much as his immediate rejoinder: "Hot bitch from Chapin." Can I get a what-what for the hot bitches at Chapin? Yeah. Blair tries to get Chuck to do what the ladies can't seem to do with Nate, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do. No, not have hot gay sex! Deliver the clue. First, though, because it's Chuck: some rape. He's wearing a red cape and a devil mask, of course, and he looks amazing. He flirts; Jenny flirts back, in such a way that we know she's winging it and pretty nervous and PTSD-ish, but he has no idea. It's a good job, acting-wise. She thinks for a second, and then tells him they should skip the dancing and head right for the part with the raping. He's like, "I'll get the champagne!"