Sitting in her car outside the Ostroff Center, Jules finally consents to answer Ben's call. He's just calling to say hi, I guess, but Juliet figures since she's got him on the phone she might as well tell him about how Dan, Damien and Blair showed up in Cornwall looking to take her down. She explains about how Damien was the drug dealer of her overdose plan, and how probably they already got an eyeful of Mama Sharp's weird Poor Person behavior, and they are putting together the whole blessed mess. So if you'll excuse her, she is going to get out of the car and go kill Serena with her bare hands, and if Ben has a problem with that he can go shank himself, because he's in jail and Juliet is fancy free. She can kill anybody she wants. Maybe this is just the first in a spree.
You know how sometimes Ben can call eighty people or send them innumerable texts, and then other times he has to wait in line? Today is the end of the line on that shit. He is cut off. No more phone calls for you, Ben Donovan. And so (as a band named after an Edith Wharton novel about rich girls seeking oblivion starts to play) Ben starts screaming. Just one more call! He must warn Serena van der Woodsen! He screams at Nate, who is there for his sixth jail visit of the day, like this: "Hey, Archibald! I'm Ben. I'm Juliet's brother, all right? You need to find Serena and make sure she's okay!"
They shove poor old Ben back from the bars and tell him to stop harassing the pretty visitors but Nate, good old Nate, he does what you tell him. So he calls up Dan and they have a quick little meeting about how Ben is scared to death for Serena, for some reason he did not specify, and then but none of them can do anything. Nate's in Staten Island and everybody else is in Connecticut. So they all agree to run straight for PRADA and make a plan, hoping that the Ostroff Center's whizbang security will keep Juliet from murdering her. But you and I and Gossip Girl know that's not happening, so as Serena comes back from her therapy session looking proud and ready to face the world, Juliet's sitting in her room, in the dark, and flicks on the light once Serena's inside. Sooooo good. So good!
Blair enjoyed the episode's opening recap of recent events so much that she'd like to do it some more. "Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena, and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker, and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey. Never-to-be-realized literary aspirations: Check. Townie? You're from Brooklyn, so: Check. And giving up everything to become Serena van der Woodsen's stalker: Check. Face it, Humphrey. You are one knitted tie away from Mr. Donovan territory." Dan argues, it does not matter because he's wrong and Blair is right -- and even gets in a little dig about how he's stopped writing entirely in the grip of this latest bout of the Serenas -- but then, if people ever remembered that Blair is always right, each episode would be ten minutes long and have a much higher body count.