Olivia, still at the awful college party, is giving Dan one hundred vapid reasons their love can survive EKIV and whatever, and how great he is at sushi-related puns on the computer chatting machine, and those crewmen are like her family and she grew up there and blah-blah, and Vanessa is plastered by this point, and feeling weird about her conflicting feelings regarding EKIV, and finally Olivia goes, "I have had the ultimate experience. With you guys! They say that the friends you meet here last a lifetime. Do you guys want to get out of here?" Do they ever.

Serena and Blair are confused when they meet at the elevator, and Blair hisses and spits until Serena explains about the text she received, which of course B did not send, and they figure out that Chuck and Nate pulled the trigger on this one, and head downstairs to beat them up. But the elevator malfunctions: "I'm trapped in the elevator with someone who sucks all the air out of the room," Blair screeches, "Send help or I'll be dead within the hour!" Which is usually stupid on TV, but this time is awesome, because Chuck's godlike voice comes back over the intercom and tells them to pull it together. After he tells them about the single malt and Ladurée macaroons in the storage box, and signs off. Blair stares at the doors, while Serena leans boredly against the back wall, and nearly smiles to herself. "So. What did my text supposedly say?" She keeps the hope out of her voice, but not Serena: "That you were sorry. And you missed me." Blair nearly cries; she closes her eyes and says, with a secret smile, "Did you text me back?" After a few minutes of nervousness, she turns around and looks, and S nods wryly. Of course she did.

Okay, they're walking. Handmaiden #3 is one Miss Jane Cordelia Trapp, escorted by Mr. Theodore Davis III. #1, the one that looks like Vanessa, is Miss Sawyer Harriett Bennett, escorted by Mr. Evan Jameson Jr. She strikes a funny sexy pose for her portrait, and Jenny gets ready to ascend the stage: "Miss Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey, escorted by Mr. Graham Collins..." Two things happen. #1 is: Tallulah? Really? Every time I think we know every way the Humphries hamstrung their kids, they pull out a new one. #2 is, another girl runs up and beats Jenny to the stage, handing her a card with a correction while Kira preens on the steps.