So expository is Chuck's likewise exposition -- even alone, they are together -- that even the most passive Nate has picked up on his little theme: "Russell manipulated me to make me look like a monster with Lily so Raina would break up with me and I'd lose my one advocate within his company," Chuck grumbles, and Nate is like, "You have said that one hundred times to me. You said it in bed, you said it during our shower, you said it when we were trying on clothes, and you're saying it again now that we've finally made it out into the kitchen."
Chuck's solution: Whore out the all-time hooker of this show, Nathaniel Archibald, so that he can charm Chuck's way back into Raina's pants. "I'm pretty sure a businesswoman like Raina has plans for the day," Nate says -- which is adorable, like, "Would a businesswoman like yourself be interested in going to lunch with a hooker like me?" -- but Chuck's just like, "You're a hooker, so hook." Nate smells his own armpit -- which smells like coffee cake at all times -- and pronounces himself good to go.
The Minions are at Waldorf's House Of Weirdos, because one of them thought that's what W stood for, so now we're skyping while Blair's at the office. They do a great job in this episode of making all these screwball machinations and technology and running-around feel actually stressful and substantive, rather than the shell-game another episode might portray. In addition to the fabulous acting of just about everybody, the whip-crack editing and intense music keep you moving even faster than usual.
So Blair snipes and skypes at them about her shit she needs to do: Art History essay test she'll dictate over bluetooth -- "penmanship counts" -- presents for Eric's birthday and Eleanor's housewarming in Aix -- "do try to approach my level of taste" -- and, for the girl whose name she doesn't know ("She has no time to care" Dorota hisses when she says her name), a meeting with Bryn Harold to get on the board at the opera. Penelope whines about getting the presents, Blair shuts off her computer and starts yelling at an empty room.
Turns out all her interns quit, as that one pretty assistant editor, the one that's always so in charge, explains -- "Your management style was a little aggressive; one claims she has PTSD and threatened a lawsuit" -- but then Humphrey shows up, just as the pretty lady is explaining that the last assistant who lost her interns lost her job too, and Blair immediately claims him as her next assisting intern. Dan's jaw drops, of course, but that smile that never strays too far from his mouth whenever Blair's around these days? It doesn't stray too far.