So the federal government apparently owns an insane Southern California beach house that undercover agents use a crash pad. This is a real thing. And I'd like to go there on vacation, because all the undercovers are stunningly, ridiculously beautiful. The newest roommate is FBI agent Mike Warren, newly graduated from the academy and eager to do some federalin'.
Mike's roommates include FBI agents Johnny and Charlie; DEA agents Lauren, Johnny, and Paige; and ICE agent Jakes. And also legendary badass FBI agent Paul Briggs, who is assigned to be Mike's mentor. And who Mike is secretly assigned to investigate, because Briggs might be crazy or dangerous or corrupt, but he's just so fucking pretty he could basically be running a murderous cartel out of that beach house and I wouldn't care.
Mike's first day includes a cocaine sting that results in the U.S. government taking possession of 12,000 pairs of black-market blue jeans, and then Mike going undercover with the Russian drug cartel, getting held at gunpoint by the recently shot DEA agent whose room at Graceland he's now occupying, and almost accidentally bringing the whole cartel down. Oh, and he also witnesses Briggs murdering someone and covers for him. So his second day ought to be really interesting.
A precredits crawl informs us that the U.S. government owns a SoCal beach house where undercover DEA, FBI and ICE agents live. It's called Graceland because I guess Melrose Fed was a little on the nose.
At Quantico, a bunch of baby FBI agents are graduating. Courtney B. Vance tells all the new grads, including the super adorable Aaron Tveit (or as my friend Cristin was calling him in December, Blond Marius), that he too thought he was hot shit when he graduated from the academy, but then he went out into the world, which is a battlefield. (No promises, no demands.) And he hopes they'll all be smart and lucky enough to survive.
Across the country, intercut with the graduation, a man in an old car is listening to the radio and cracking his knuckles. As another car approaches, the man puts his badge in the glove compartment and greets the newcomers in Spanish. A third car arrives, and the occupants open suitcases full of drugs and cash. The undercover agent cooks himself up a nice spoonful of heroin to check the quality of the merchandise. He makes a big show of finding a vein, but then injects the heroin into a rubber ball held in the bend of his elbow. But when he straightens up, he drops the ball. It bounces horribly slowly over to the big skeptical Russian drug dealer who's watching all this go down. One of the women in the car that brought the drugs also seems to be an undercover, based on the worried eye contact she's making with the ineptly shooting up agent.
The woman screams, "Nyet!" as one of her colleagues pulls out a gun and shoots the undercover. Everyone gets in their cars and splits, leaving the undercover bleeding from a wound to his upper left chest.
Courtney congratulates all the new graduates and they all grin handsomely and smile while the doppelganger of their future bleeds to death on a pier in San Pedro.
Graceland. A shirtless man, Johnny, tries to wake Daniel Sunjata up. Daniel is all bearded and gruff and ridiculously cute and I want to crawl into that bed with him. Johnny teases Briggs, -- which is apparently Daniel's name -- that he told him not to let him sleep in. Briggs is all, I WAS NOT SERIOUS FUCK OFF JOHNNY and flings a shoe at Johnny, who closes the door. The next one through the door is Paul's boss -- ack! It's horrible mewling Agent Kohn from Sons of Anarchy! Agent Kohn pulls the curtains open because he is a monster.