Weeds

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Grasshopper

Previously, upstart private community Majestic, with their fancy light-up churches and proselytizing day schools, was horning in on Agrestic's action. Doug and Celia managed to work the situation to their favor, though Doug's golf membership paled in the face of Celia's house. Silas turned out to be a decent street-level dealer, but Nancy turned out to be even worse at keeping herself out of trouble than normal, and she ended up with a garage full of heroin as a result.

Andy's in nothing but his tighty-whiteys as he cooks up some huevos rancheros for breakfast. Nancy's grossed out but has more important things on her mind, and she pulls Andy into the laundry room to show him the trunk full of heroin U-Turn left for her. Andy thinks Nancy's turned stone cold, in a good way, and he sees nothing but dollar signs in that trunk. Nancy sees dollar signs too, you can tell, but her mouth maintains that heroin is bad and dangerous. Nancy gets a call from Sullivan, who wants to throw a party for the Agrestic City Council and "whoever the fuck else" is important on Nancy's side of the development. He needs her to stretch the $5,000 budget to look like $10,000, and he needs it ready for tomorrow night. Andy, meanwhile, is licking the bricks of heroin, and between that and the tighty-whiteys, I can't recall a time when he looked like more of a degenerate, and that's certainly saying something. Nancy gets a pretty decent idea, considering every other idea she's ever had. She wants Andy to cater the event and they'll hold it at the house. If Andy can make $1,000 look like $5,000, that's four grand in her pocket. Dishonest? Sure, but it's Sullivan Groff. You're shirking your duty to humanity if you don't fuck him over when you get the chance. Andy does his semi-annual "maybe I don't want to work for you for free" dance until Nancy grabs a handful of waistband and reminds him that he's essentially squatting in her house and he capitulates like a little girl, as usual. She tells him to wash his hands before cooking breakfast, since the last thing she needs is her boys eating heroin eggs. "Right, because then they'd want them every day," says Andy. Okay, I know Andy's all Captain Narcotics about everything, but heroin? It doesn't fit the image.

Elsewhere, I'm assuming in Majestic, Sullivan is giving Celia a tour of her brand new House of Kickbacks. He says it'll have to remain in the company's name in order to keep the bribery hush-hush, but Celia figures it'll keep Dean's "stubby little sausage fingers" away from it too. All of a sudden, something gets shot through one of the living room windows, and we see Doug driving golf balls into the house from his spot on the Majestic golf course. The balls are inscribed with either "whore" or "cunt," which must remind Celia of the good times with Doug. No, Celia's chagrined, actually, while Sullivan is grudgingly impressed by Doug's accuracy.

1 2 3 4 5Next

Weeds

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP