Great American Road Trip
Great American Road Trip

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1122 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Epic Battle

And now we're going back to freaking Arizona to visit a town full of burros. Reno informs us that the difference between a burro and a donkey is the spelling. He then pauses and laughs at his own joke. Amie wonders where they're heading on this dusty, rocky road. Aaron can't read words too good, so he says Oatmeal, Arizona. It's actually Oatman. The other families are similarly confused as to where they're headed. They aren't even on Route 66 anymore, right? Finally, they arrive in Oatman, which is a ghost town. It looks pretty cool, actually. And it's full of burros. Aaron starts to pet one, even though they were told not to. He says they won't bite, but he's wrong. I was bitten by a donkey once at a petting zoo. It left a big bruise, too. Jennifer stays inside the RV for all of this and watches from afar. Hilariously, Anslie is sort of charged by two donkeys and runs screaming.

For their reward, The DiSalvatores get dinner at a restaurant in Oatman where the walls are decorated with dollar bills left by past patrons. A lot of them. $65,000 worth, says the waitress. The DiSalvatores quickly send her to the kitchen with orders to cook something and leave them alone for the next half hour. Seriously, though -- how is that place not robbed all the time? I guess it would take hours to really make any money from that. The waitress says people have been leaving bills on the wall for eighty years now, and their oldest is from 1923, when a dollar was probably worth like fifty thousand. Apparently, the tradition started when guys would leave their money stuck on the wall so they'd still have something to drink with when their wives inevitably took all their pocket money to save for things that are more important than beer. Each DiSalvatore staples his own autographed bill to the wall and then it's time to reflect on the road trip as a whole. By the way, as cool as that restaurant was, it's still a shitty reward. Possibly even shittier than the one with the meal on the bridge. Aren't these things supposed to get better as the game goes along?

The next morning, the families head to Soggy Dry Lake Bed in California. Crossing the California border is exciting for all of the families, although not so much for Aaron, who is clearly sleeping in the RV as his mother interviews about what a trip it is to be in California. She also says they've driven across the "whole United States," which is not true. It's called all the states east of Chicago, Amie. Amy is so happy that she gives her husband a kiss on the cheek. Apparently, she's always dreamed of seeing the Pacific Ocean. She should -- it's pretty cool. Amie digs out her lucky coonskin cap that I refuse to believe she didn't just buy on the road. I mean, it's in a shopping bag still! She says a redneck with a dead animal on her head is sure to win the End of the Road challenge. The usually silent Ron pipes up to be embarrassed about all of this. Fiddles blare on the soundtrack. Jeff Foxworthy looks like an English dandy next to these people. Except that I don't even think Amie is wearing that the right way. Isn't the tale supposed to go down the back and not hang off the side? Amie suddenly realizes that "coon" sounds a bit like "Coote," and says this is her Coote-skin hat and it will help them beat the Cootes. I'm just really glad that the Montgomerys aren't still around to possibly hear any of this.

Great American Road Trip

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