A fake outlaw comes running up and shoots his gun, which scares the crap out of everyone. I guess this outlaw is supposed to be Jesse James, but this guy is old and not hot at all like Jesse James is in the movies, so I don't like it. Fake Jesse leads the families through the caverns, which were one of his hideouts back in the day. We finally hear from the Rico family, as Ricardo tells us he's a big history fan, so learning how these caverns were formed was a great experience for him. Funny -- I took a lot of history classes in college, and we never learned about rock history. Possibly because that's actually geology. Ashley Faverey says the cave smells like old people's houses, which more than makes up for her temper tantrum last week.
After the tour, the Montgomerys go fishing, as Darius's sons have always wanted to but never been able to do with him before. Great. Now they can learn how much fishing sucks. You hardly ever catch anything, and then when you do, you feel like such an asshole because the poor thing has a hook through its mouth and it's suffocating. Hmm. I probably wouldn't do well on a deer hunting trip with the Pollards after all. Then it's time for s'mores with the other families and bedtime. That looks like a lot of fun, actually. Fun to live through -- not so much fun to watch on TV.
The next morning, it's raining outside. Horrible Reno wakes the families up with a banjo tune and is more obnoxious than Silvio, which I didn't think was even possible. When the families assemble around him, he says he has no talent for the banjo. No shit, Sherlock. He says he doesn't have to have talent, because he's the host of a crappy reality show. The contestants, on the other hand, will need talent for this week's first challenge. They're going to Branson, Missouri, which Reno calls "the Vegas of the Ozarks." For some reason, everyone is excited about this. Each family will have to perform a four minute routine (sketch, song, dance, whatever) that must be entertaining. Everyone balks, as well they should, because they are not entertaining. Reno says they'll be judged by three of Branson's "biggest and brightest" stars. Danielle Rico's jaw drops, because she doesn't realize that "star" in Branson is a relative term. For example, Reno Collier would be a star in Branson, but in the rest of America, he's that guy who looks like Andy Richter but sounds like Jimmy Kimmel but doesn't have the talent or charisma of either. With that, Reno offers the families a choice between setting off for Branson or listening to more of his banjo playing. Death is not an option.