With all the families present, Reno informs them that they're going to be traveling on Route 66, which starts in Chicago and goes down through the southern states to Santa Monica, California. Hope you guys didn't want to see the East Coast! Or the North! Also, I'm pretty sure part of this is the route I took when I drove from Connecticut (not Westport -- I'm poor!) to Los Angeles, which means that they'll pass the largest cross in the Western Hemisphere and hopefully stop to marvel at its aluminum siding. Also, the Red Roof Inn in Albuquerque has a hot tub. The families are excited until Reno lays the smack down: along the way, they'll have to compete in challenges. The winners will continue on their journey. The losers will not. The last family standing wins $100,000. Everyone cheers except for the Katzenbergs, as $100,000 is mere chicken feed to them. Reno says that this is not a race, because NBC would get sued so hard if they made families race in RVs. Since it's not a race, they can jog leisurely out of the baseball field.
Their RVs are waiting outside, courtesy of product placement Cruise America RV Rentals and Sales. Everyone runs inside and explores his RV. They all have a theme specific to the family in them, so the Alabama family's is all creepy and country. Mother Amie, of course, loves it. The Katzenbergs pretend to like their new home, which is nothing like Westport, of course. It turns out that Hyleri is not the mother -- she's engaged to Father Marc, and holds up her giant engagement ring to prove it. "How many carats is it, sweetie?" she asks. "Seven... at least," Marc says. Way to be from my home state and totally suck, Katzenbergs. Anyway, Andrew is Marc's son and Sami is Hyleri's daughter. And I wish both children the very best of luck. Hyleri brags that they've been all over the world but aren't high maintenance. "We just look it," she says. Whatever gets you the seven carat ring, Hyls.
The Cootes open their Travel Guide and see that their first stop is Springfield, Illinois. It's the state capital and the home of Abraham Lincoln. How exciting! The rest of the families are happy and peaceful -- except for the DiSalvatores, because Mom Amy wants to drive and Silvio won't let her. Because of that, she won't tell him how to start it. Amy interviews that her husband's driving makes her nervous when it's just in a car, let alone a huge RV he's never driven before. Oh my god. The DiSalvatores are my family. Except that my family wouldn't even go on Family Double Dare, let alone this show. The State Police escort the RVs onto the road, and I really hope that was paid for by production and not the taxpayers. Unlike Michael Jackson's funeral today, which was paid for by me. Lame. The Alabamas are stuck behind the DiSalvatores, who still don't know how to make the RV go. "How do I shut dees blinkas?" Silvio asks. Amy finally helps him out, although one of the kids protests, "Dad, you can't drive, though!"