The RVs arrive in Seligman, which Amie calls a "cute little town," so that tells you everything you probably need to know. They head inside the Roadkill Café, where there are various exhibits of taxidermied animals and roadkill-themed menu. I don't know if the place actually serves armadillos and quails they found on the side of the road, nor do I care. The Coote boy is very excited about the prospect, of course. Silvio takes another turn that destroys the RV kitchen again and Amy flips the hell out. She says she reached the breaking point. I don't understand why she can't just secure the kitchen cabinets so they aren't flying open all the time. Isn't that what everyone else on an RV does?
Amy sits down with the Pollards at the cafe and says she needs to travel in their RV with them now. Jennifer Coote watches from afar and takes pleasure in the DiSalvatores' producer-engineered marital strife in the hopes that it'll help the Cootes win again. Jake suggests they get a table that's closer to the action, but Jennifer wisely says no: "we want to be as far away from them as possible." The Cootes suck, but they do make sense. Silvio interviews that Amy, Amie and Anslie are driving in one RV while Aaron, Blake, Mason, Ron, and Silvio are in the other. Why don't they just put all the families in one RV from the beginning and have them go across country like that? That would have been a good show.
After the break, the Pollard/DiSalvatore men set off in one RV and the women in the other. The Cootes aren't fighting with anyone, but that doesn't mean their ride is trouble-free, as Jennifer promptly drives the RV into a gas station overhang. She thought she could make it under safely even though presumably she knows how tall the RV is and the awning had a sign on it saying what the maximum height to pass under it was. I fail to see why people continually screw this very simple thing up time and again, and I hope the Cootes lose one of their stupid crowns for this. In the end, they have to let air out of the tires to lower the RV so it can back out from under the awning. Keith claims there was no damage, but it sure looked and sounded like there was damage to me.
Amy can't shut the fuck up about how great it is in the Pollard RV. Amie soon drives recklessly just like Silvio and knocks over the stuff in the kitchen. Amy wonders if she's just an RV driving curse. Maybe it's not that you're cursed, Amy, but that when people are in an RV with you they tend to drive recklessly in the hopes that they'll die and not have to listen to you anymore? I mean, I'm usually a very safe driver, but if Amy was my passenger I'd probably want to drive off a cliff ASAP, RV kitchen be damned. Over in the man van, Silvio wants to name their RV the "Man Mobile" or the "Bro Bus." Call it whatever you want, but it's still producer-created filler that isn't entertaining in the slightest. In the Feminine Bustique, Amie has turned the conversation to shit-talking about the Cootes. She thought of a new slogan: "we're gonna kick Cootie Booty," she says. Amie, you need to quit your radio job right now and get yourself a job in ads. What a gem that is! Also, I don't know what it's like in Alabama but I haven't used the term "cootie" since like second grade, and even the it was only in reference to the awesome home game.













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