Great American Road Trip
Vegas Baby

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Sara M: D | Grade It Now!
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Vegas Crybaby

Let me open this weecap by saying that I got my tonsils out last Thursday and even that was more fun than watching this show. But I'm still pretty sore and on painkillers, so hopefully I won't be more cranky or dopey than usual. In fact, being on Vicodin might just make this show better. It can't make it worse!

Amie Pollard fills us in on the Montgomerys being gone and three families remaining. Three families too many, if you ask me. Jennifer Coote claims that her family was friendly with the Montgomerys, so it's sad to see them go. I don't think the Cootes are friendly with anyone, though. Ever. Jennifer says her family is all about the game now, as if they weren't before. Silvio has a rip in the seat of his pants as he says he's amazed to be in the final three of this game and never expected to do so well. Who goes on a reality show expecting to fail? And why? I don't understand. Amy says that believe it or not, the DiSalvatores aren't very good when it comes to managing their money, so they really need this $100,000 prize. Shocking!!

The families are heading for some place in Arizona that no one knows how to pronounce and isn't this like the 15th stop in Arizona already? Move on! Oh, yuck. Reno's in his fake RV telling us that Seligman, Arizona, will give the families a "true taste of Route 66 flavor." But I thought we already got that at the custard stand, or the 30 TGI Friday's, or the Red Roof Inn? Anyway, I hope it's roadkill, or some kind of terrifying truck stop with a den of sin for a bathroom, but we all know nothing like that would ever happen on this show. Oh, hold up -- they're heading for The Roadkill Café, so I guess they are getting roadkill after all. Fake roadkill, but still.

The DiSalvatore RV sets out with Silvio at the wheel. He takes a wide turn and knocks stuff over in the kitchen, causing Amy to erupt in an explosion of screams and shrieks. She blames this unpleasantness on being the only woman in an Italian family, but surely she's learned a few better and more effective ways to communicate by now? At the very least, she could use good grammar when she screams and teach her kids something. "Why is this woman -- why can't they kill her?" my roommate asks from across the room, where she has no choice but to hear Amy's screams. I can't answer her, because I don't know the answer and also I can't speak even if I didn't. Finally, Amy blames Silvio for her pounding headache. When she finally gets Silvio to listen to her and do her bidding, she doesn't know where they're even going.

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Great American Road Trip

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