The families arrive at the theatre, which Amie pronounces using an amazing 50 syllables. Reno is waiting for them on stage, and this is the closest he'll ever get to playing Vegas in his stand-up career, I hope. If not then it says bad things about this country and our taste in comedy. "How cool is this place?" Reno asks. It's a freaking auditorium, Reno. The floors are probably sticky and the seats are old and gross. It's not cool. Reno says he wants to put on a magic show for the families. Fine, but do I have to watch it? Oh. I guess I do. But it's so lame and free of talent that I refuse to recap it except to say that Amie's expression as she gives Reno polite applause is awesomely disgusted and bored. Reno says it's time for some good magic from Penn and Teller. "Penn and Teller are famous icons," Amie explains in a way that makes me think she has no idea who they are despite all of their supposed fame.
Penn takes the stage, but there's no Teller because he says Teller is working with children at a hospital. More like Teller has some sense not to appear on this crapfest. Go, Teller! Penn calls Keith and Ron to the stage and sticks them in a small cage. He covers the cage with a sheet and tells the small crowd to think about what they want to happen. Jennifer looks concerned because she knows that Amie is wishing all kinds of horrible things on her husband right now. Penn pulls the sheet away, and Ron and Keith are gone, replaced by Teller. Aw, no! Teller couldn't get out of this after all.
Reno takes the stage again and says that Ron and Keith are somewhere in Las Vegas, and the Dad-less Coote and Pollard families' challenge is to find them. "Not uh," Cassidy says. "Yeah huh," Penn fires back, totally interrupting Reno. Um, can Penn make Reno disappear and host the show from now on? Teams will be given clues that spell out hotel names that will help them find their fathers, and this appears to be the most Amazing Race-like challenge we've had so far, and the only one that seems like something I couldn't replicate in my backyard when I was ten. Is this the Vicodin talking, or could this actually be fun? Too bad Silvio had to suck so much so his team couldn't do it. The first family that finds Dad wins an overnight stay in a nice hotel while the losers have to hang out with the DiSalvatores, who don't seem to mind that being with them is a punishment for most people. They're probably used to it by now.