Patrick Dempsey's like -- oh, never mind. It's McDreamy, okay? It's Derek "McDreamy" "McHottie" "McDoMe" Shepherd and we all know it. I don't know why I'm pretending like y'all haven't seen every last episode of this show three dozen times. So McDreamy is blinking at Mere sexily, and she just tells him that she's going to take a shower, and when she comes back down, he won't be here. Isn't that right, What'syername? Meredith looks at him blankly and McDreamy realizes with a hint of sadness that she doesn't even remember his name, and...what did you expect, McDreamy? You met her at a BAR after she'd had her regular happy hour trough of tequila! Hell, I'm lucky if I remember MY OWN name after two of my favorite Molotov Cocktails. Cut the girl some slack. He reminds her that his name is Derek, and Mere reminds him that her name is Meredith, and they shake hands and grin loopily at each other, and he flings himself over the sofa and they're two seconds away from going at it again, but Mere skitters off to the shower to wash that man right outta her orifices.
Later that morning, Mere drives herself to her first day on the job. Seattle glimmers in the distance. Once she makes it to the hospital, she's late for the Chief's introductory "You Shall All Sucketh" speech, but he's so busy hanging out on his soapbox, he doesn't notice her tardiness. As he rambles on about how eight of them will switch to an easier specialty, five will crack under the pressure, and two will be asked to leave, the interns all size each other up. "How well you play," says the Chief, referring to The Game, "is up to you." "Like I said," says Mere's VO, "I'm screwed."
We're not treated to the Alcohol/Surgery/Cocktail Dress/High Heels/Sex on a Gurney credits in this pilot episode, so we go right from Mere's "I'm screwed" statement to the Medicine CrÃ¼e locker room where all the interns are getting called for their resident assignments. Mere comments that there are only six women out of twenty interns. Standing next to her is Cristina "Bitchybritches" Yang. She quips that one of them is a model, which totally isn't going to help with the "respect thing." Cristina will later eat these words when she's doing Burke in a supply closet. Mere asks who Cristina got assigned to and she says she got Bailey and Mere affirms that she got Bailey, whom she refers to as "the Nazi," as well. And here's where George "Mufflelips" O'Malley enters into the conversation without invitation.
He's all, "YOUGOTBAILEYTOOMETOODAMNFUNNYCOINCIDENCE! HII'MGEORGE. ILOVEYOU. IMEANILOVEYOURHAIR. IMEANILOVEYOU. DAMMIT!" He blabbles that he's George O'Malley and that they met at the mixer, and Cristina and Meredith are like, who the fuck is this guy? And they share a look that's like, no, seriously, who the fuck is this guy and why did WE get stuck with him on our team? George steps on his tongue some more when he tells Meredith that, at the mixer, she had on a black dress with a slit up the side and strappy sandals. The girls look at him strangely, and he suddenly realizes that what he's just said makes him appear to be gay. No, George. It makes you sound like a stalker. If you had said she was wearing a Nikolaki black dress and black strappy Jimmy Choos, you would've appeared gay.