Bailey orders Cristina to be on labs and George to be on patient work-ups. Meredith gets the unenviable task of taking Katie to get a CT scan. "She's your responsibility now," snaps Bailey. "Wh-what about me?" asks Izzie. Bailey glances at her. "Honey? You get to do rectal exams." Hee. Bailey meant what she said about sucking up. As the delightful strains of Jem play across the soundtrack, we glimpse Izzie slathering her fingers with KY, Cristina sneaking a peak at a surgery and Bailey discovering Cristina sneaking the peak. Bailey throws open the door and demands to know what Cristina's doing there and she just says that Katie's labs came out fine and she thought Bailey would want to know. Bailey's like, uh-huh. Thanks. Fuck off. Before Bailey can shut the door in her face, Cristina mentions the rumor she heard about the attending on-call letting an intern perform a procedure during the first shift. Bailey stares at her. "I'm just...saying...it's what I heard," says Cristina. "Get away. Now!" snaps Bailey. Hee.
George is performing his patient work-ups. He informs a man who's due for heart surgery that Dr. Burke is the best and that, once the procedure is over, the man can have all the bacon-flavored soy products he can handle. It's clear that George has a way with patients, even if this "way" miraculously disappears whenever he's around winsome interns with limp blonde hair. Speaking of Meredith, she's rolling poor Katie through hall after hall, searching for the CT scan room. "You're lost," declares Katie snottily. Forget what I said about "poor." Katie goes on to say that she's missing her pageant and that this is a fate worse than death. "Hello!" she snots. "You are SO lost. What are you, new?" Why, yes she is, Snotty Bryce. In fact, she's so new, that she doesn't know WHAT to do with this syringe of cyanide she has in her hand, nor does she remember how not to kill someone by sticking it into their vein! Now shut up and have another seizure before she gives you something to REALLY complain about.
We check in with Izzie as she informs a rather incredulous patient that she's just going to, gulp, insert her fingers into his, erm, rectum. Gah. As Izzie looks heavenward in order to avoid looking at the hairy butthole before her, we switch to George who is attempting to find a vein on the heart patient's arm. I have to say that when I went into the hospital for my second endoscopy this past April, I had a student nurse attempt to put the IV into my right hand. It hurt from the moment she did it, and within two days, I had three separate nodules on my hand that hurt like hell, were yellow and bruised, and didn't go away for over a month. I still have two of them near my wrist bone. I call them Binky and Louie and they sing me to sleep at night. All I'm saying is, now I understand why some people won't let a student nurse or an intern anywhere NEAR their veins before a procedure. I know they have to learn somehow, I'd just rather it weren't on ME.