Previously on Grey's Anatomy: Mere decides to be celibate, then meets Hot Vet Chris O'Donnell; Bailey is covered in mommy; Izzie falls for Magical Heart Patient Denny; George and Burke bond and play jazz instruments together and whatnot; and George discovers that Callie lives in the hospital basement. And also, it's been like a month! What gives, ABC?
We open in the hospital corridor just outside Callie's lair. Mere voice-overs, "The key to being a successful intern is what we give up: sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment -- the moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon." George and Callie are having an amazing moment of their own...in bed. George's haircut appears to have been a success; he looks less like a retarded monkey and more like an actual person. Callie thanks George for the good hot sex, and we cut to...
…Addison and McDreamy in bed, as well. Addison barks, "Thanks," and makes a pained face. MereVO: "There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile." McDreamy and Addison giggle at the ridiculousness of their very bad sex. McDreamy: "You're thanking me for the most boring sex ever?" Hee. Addie says she didn't know what else to say. They commend one another for doing "their best," and as they go to hug, bang heads. Ow! An appropriate ending for this round of love-making, I'd say. Luckily, McDreamy's phone rings, and he tells the person on the other end of the line that he can pick up Doc this morning. Addie grabs the phone. "Dr. Dandridge? We're going to have to call you back. We're trying really hard to have some decent sex here!" Except, it's not Dr. Dandridge on the phone! It's Meredith! Oh, GOD. Mere hangs up her phone slowly, and voice-overs, "And then there are days where everything feels like a sacrifice."
Hot, hot, hot Chris O'Donnell walks Doc into the waiting room of his office and asks Meredith if everything's okay. First of all, when did Chris O'Donnell get fabulous? He's so...mousy! And secondly, keep it up, McVet. Keep it up. Mere says everything's fine, and tells Doc he looks good. McVet says it may be just a virus, and the dog can go home today. He then changes the subject: "So you and Derek...are you together?" Mere stutters that they're just friends, and she? Well, she is knitting a sweater. She rambles on some more until McVet interrupts, "So you're single." He's asking because he wants Mere to go out with him. Mere: "Out. With you." McVet: "On a date. Tonight." Mere, adorably: "Date. Tonight." McVet assumes that she's repeating everything he says so she can stall and figure out a way to let him down easy. Mere tries to make him feel better while also telling him she's just not dating at this time. She is welcome to send his previously-mousy self over this way, and go on about her knitting.
As we cut to the hospital, Mere voice-overs, "And then there are the sacrifices that you can't figure out why you're making." Bailey stands next to Webber and Burke, staring at the surgery board. She can't believe her name isn't on the board for yet another day. "Chief, any reason my name isn't on the board?" Webber smiles and gives Bailey two little claps on the back as he walks off. "Slow day." Bailey puts on her oh-no-he-didn't face and turns angrily to Burke. "Tell me! When did I become a person who gets patted on the back!" Burke asks if she thinks Webber is mommy-tracking her, which Bailey absolutely does. Burke gives her Denny Duquette out of pity, and Bailey thanks him gratefully. Man, what is happening to my awesome Bailey?
Cristina bounds up with coffee for Burke, and for no good reason at all this annoys me. Perhaps I'm still upset about Bailey. Perhaps it's the ingratiating look on her face. Perhaps it's because she's clearly trying to one-up George when he's nowhere in sight. I don't know. Burke thanks her perfunctorily, which Cristina takes as a sign something's wrong. There is: he only ran two miles this morning without his buddy George there to push him -- they were up to six together. Cristina's all, "Missing George. Okay, drink your coffee." Burke declines and says he's actually waiting on...George, who runs up with a cappuccino. Cappuccino, Cristina. Obviously the way to Burke's heart is through specialty coffee drinks, probably with extra foam. On top of this, George delivers some great news: Eugene Foote is there at the hospital. Burke can't believe it. Cristina asks who Eugene Foote is. George looks at her incredulously. "Uh, genius violinist? Burke's hero?" Aigh, shut up, George. Just give the man a blowjob and be done with it. Cristina can only watch as her boyfriend and George discuss Foote's oeuvre with much enthusiasm. Burke asks George if he wants in on Foote. George does, but he's on neuro today with McDreamy, sadly. Burke makes an "I'll take care of it, my boy" gesture. George runs off, all happy. Cristina: "Uh, I want in? I laid on top of you naked last night, so why don't you wax nostalgic about that?" She leaves angrily, and while I can totally see her side, at this moment I kind of hate both of Burke's girlfriends.
Mere whines to Alex about turning down McVet. Alex could not care less. "You want to do him? Do him." Mere corrects that she wants to date him, not do him; she's not doing anybody. Cristina comes over looking for Eugene Foote's chart, and asks what they're talking about. Mere says it's weird for her to date McVet, right? He's Derek's vet, he's Doc's vet, he's her vet. Cristina leaves the weird part out of it and tells Mere she can't date a vet. "He's not even a real doctor!" I believe that this line, more than any other, was the subject of much uproar in the forums, which...nope, it didn't make me think about it even one little bit.
Addie walks in with coffee all over her coat, just another link in her awful-morning chain. Mere tells Cristina under her breath to run if she sees Addison looking at her. Addie does just that, grumbling, "I need an intern!" Cristina and Mere make quick exits, leaving Alex with Addison. Alex tries to get away by saying he doesn't do vagina. Hee. Addie tells him he just bought himself a big old case of it. Oh, this should be fun.
Bailey checks on Denny, who says he's doing great, and would be doing a lot greater if he could get off this machine. Bailey: "Oh, Denny, you know I would, but then your heart would stop, and Dr. Burke would yell at me, and that would make for a very bad day for both of us." Denny shoots her a charming grin, which I actually find charming. What is happening to me? The moon must be in Jupiter, or something. Mere asks if Denny is a candidate for the portable LVAD. Denny's all, "Now that's what I'm talking about." Unfortunately, Izzie walks in and ruins their fun. "I've already told him he's not ready for it yet." Bailey reminds Izzie that she assigned her to neuro this morning. Izzie says she's on her way there, but couldn't resist sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong. She asks them to tell Denny about all the scary complications. Mere says he would be risking air embolus and V-fib. Izzie adds eagerly, "Yeah, and the tubing could kink INSIDE YOUR BODY, in which case we'd have to rush you to EMERGENCY SURGERY!" Geez. Bailey tells Izzie that, unless Denny's heart has suddenly grown a brain, she is currently not doing her job. Izzie says she's going. Bye! Izzie has to get just one last word in; she tells Denny not to be stupid. Denny shoots back, "You're not the boss of me today, woman." Mere stands there awkwardly as realization dawns on Bailey's face.
Over in Eugene Foote's room, the genius violinist is telling Burke he would like his pacemaker removed. Burke doesn't understand; Eugene's heart function has improved exponentially since they put the pacemaker in. Eugene says that may be, but Burke's contraption has changed his heartbeat, and his rhythm