In the locker room, a sopping-wet Cristina tells Bailey she's back and 100%. Bailey's looking pissed at all of the water Cristina dragged in, and skeptical too, but begins rounds anyway. We all know what time it is once rounds start -- flirting time! Alex has the nerve to jokingly ask Izzie if she's not talking to him anymore. She won't play his game and just demands to know what happened the night before and what's going on with him. Shitty, jerkoff Alex is back and replies, "I'm fine, what's your problem?" Izzie announces that she's done and not talking to him anymore.
The day's first patient is Henry Lamott. Cristina tells them that he's in for a spinal implant to help the pain from a herniated disc. Unfortunately for a man with an agonizing condition, he's allergic to all pain meds. George is staring at the TV which Henry is watching and after a giggle, they all look up and realize that it's..."Porn," Mrs. Lamott explains as she knits across the room. Bailey seems to not take this literally until she turns around, and when Alex asks Henry what movie this is, she sends him to wait in the hall. There's a lot of stuttering and nervous laughter as Bailey explains they can't have it on there, but Henry explains that it alleviates his pain. "My doc says it increases endorphins in the brain. Helps keep my pain at a manageable level." George can't stop watching, so he's dismissed as well, and the three girls are just smiling. Izzie asks what Alex did, but is allowed to stay as his wife tells them, "Nasty Naughty Nurses" -- she looks up to make sure -- "Four." From the perspective of the television, all three girls turn their heads in the universal pantomime of watching some complicated sexual acrobatics. Cristina remarks that it doesn't look comfortable and Meredith answers, "Trust me, it's not." At that, they're sent away as well. I was about to make some comment about that being extra unprofessional, even for this crowd, but then I realized that by the time a patient and his doctors are all watching porn together, the usual rules of decorum are pretty much out the window.
It's still raining outside, and rainy B-roll shows a medical helicopter flying over the city. I only noticed it because it made me nervous to imagine being in a helicopter in weather like that, but it also made me notice something funny later on. Stay tuned.
Assignments are handed out: George and Alex are going to the pit, Izzie gets a cardiac patient, and Cristina gets Porn Guy. Bailey then comments that Meredith's mom will be discharged later, and Mere explains that the nursing home guys will be coming that evening. Since that's set, she's assigned to Mr. Dr. Shepherd. Meredith glares, and Bailey singsongs, "Hey! Life is short. Times are hard. The road is long with many a winding turn." She seems almost...dare I say it? Giddy. Very un-Bailey. Since Mere is still glaring, she flatly adds, "He asked for you. You take it up with him." I bet when she went to med school she didn't realize she was in training to be a glorified babysitter.