Momma sits up, slapping at Alex's hands, demanding to know what he thinks he's doing. Alex says he's just trying to examine her. "I don't THINK so!" Momma tells him, then whispers, "I don't have any panties on and I do not know you well enough to let you see my Good Girl." Good Girl? Va-jay-jay? Not that I should be one to make fun of euphemisms or anything. After Momma insists he get her a "lady doctor," Alex shouts, "I need a chick over here!"
Meredith tells McDreamy that John Cho is named Marshall and he's a surgical intern over at Mercy West. McDreamy checks Marshall out and tells him to remember three words that Meredith will ask him for later. McDreamy gives Meredith final instructions and says, "Not now," when Meredith tries to ask what wife crawled up his butt and died. Meredith turns her attention to Marshall, who can't remember the words McDreamy told him, nor can he figure out what happened.
That stream of gin from the opening doesn't remind me so much of "kicking back with a few martinis to slough off the day's giant tumor" as it does "extraordinarily hydrated man peeing from a very great height." I think it's the arc.
George throws up some X-rays and says they are Big Daddy's. There's some back and forth where Alex calls the Waltons "stupid hicks," George yells at him, and Izzie sees fit to say something about even Big Daddy knowing how to wash his hands after he pees. Bailey snaps them back in line and tells them to discharge the mother and father and get Noah in the OR for surgery. Addison arrives and wonders why Alex isn't up checking on her patients. Alex snots that there was a car accident and he's been checking on a pregnant mother. Addison blandly tells him she was going to have him scrub in on a few of her surgeries today, but now thinks he should stay by Smelly Mel's side all day. Busted. Addison leaves. Bailey tells Izzie to scrub in on Noah's patella fracture surgery, and orders Alex to find his patient. "The She Shepherd just walks in here and pulls me off surgery?" Alex demands. "You burn the She Shepherd, she burns back. Now go," Bailey responds calmly. Smelly Mel asks, "The CT won't hurt the baby or nuthin', right?" "No, it won't hurt the baby...or nuthin'," Cristina sighs. Smelly Mel babbles about the baby shower she was having that day and how nice it was that her parents were in town for it. Alex arrives and announces he's "Captain of the Vagina Squad." Cristina happily tells Smelly Mel that Alex is going to take care of her and that he really likes to talk, so Smelly Mel should tell him all about everything. Alex mutters something irritable to Cristina as Smelly Mel wonders, "What she mean 'Captain'? And what kinda squad you on?" He's Captain of the Good Girl Squad, hon.