So we pick up about a minute from where the last episode left off a few weeks ago, and Sloan wasn't kidding about the baby coming -- in the time it takes Mark to go across the hall to try and get some supplies, Teddy throws on one of his shirts and delivers the baby boy who, after a couple of seconds of TV-mandated worry, is totally fine. Mark is totally smitten with the newborn, and is gutted when he realizes that Sloan is still planning to go through with the adoption. While sort of going along with it by calling the adoptive parents at her request, he also tries to talk her into keeping the baby and is very nearly successful until a slip of the tongue causes Derek to remind him that Sloan is his child, not this little baby. He decides to be a dad to the daughter he already has, and she decides to go through with the adoption. While it seems to nearly kill him to hand the baby over, he does so, and Sloan is going to come live with him for a while. Joy.
The unexpected arrival of this newborn comes right as Arizona and Callie have finally started talking about how Callie wants one and Arizona doesn't -- if by "talking" you mean "yelling and stooping to low blows." Callie is shocked that Arizona won't change her mind on the subject, especially when she's obviously so good with kids, but thinks she figures it all out when she remembers that Arizona's brother died and figures Arizona is terrified that something like that will happen to them. Arizona only gets angrier when Callie suggests this, orders her to lay off and all but gives an ultimatum that they will only stay together if Callie accepts that this is the way Arizona is. Callie seems to decide to try and forget about her baby fever but when Arizona sees how upset she is, she melts at least enough to be nice to Callie again, even though I doubt her mind is changed.
In a far lighter situation, Alex and Lexie have a patient who has been speared by a giant shark hook after an accident with his son on their fishing boat. Alex started his day off by gazing at Lexie while she slept and clearly got too wigged out at the idea of having any actual feelings, so he spends the rest of his time being a complete jerk to her instead. When Lexie realizes that the father and son have a rare and highly infectious strain of pneumonia, she nearly hands Alex the diagnosis (and therefore the awesome saving of the day) but Bailey realizes that she's being a doormat and orders her to find her spine, save the day, take the credit she is due and tell Alex that if he keeps treating her like crap she's done sleeping with him.
Teddy could use a good Bailey pep talk herself -- while she started her day off by delivering a baby she winds up coming down with a cold, and one ill-timed sneeze causes her to nearly kill the hooked fisherman during his surgery. It's especially unfortunate because Derek has invited a hotshot cardiothoracic surgeon to come do a surgery that day and to check out the place in case he wants Teddy's job. I guess when she got herself a little cottage and decided she wanted to stick around she never told Derek, and he thought that when her temporary contract was up she was going to look for something else. Cristina is so overcome with awe over assisting the visiting doc that she doesn't pick up on the fairly obvious fact that he's there essentially for an interview, which is the last straw for Teddy. While Teddy's in the elevator with Owen she falls apart and so he pulls her into a comforting hug that, because all elevators at Seattle Grace are SEXY elevators, nearly turns in to something more. When Teddy finally tells Cristina what's going on and points out that Cristina wouldn't get to assist nearly as much with the new guy, Cristina begs Owen to put in a good word for Teddy with Derek. He's still feeling a little bit confused and guilty on account of the almost-kissing, though, and instead tells Derek that Teddy will be fine if she doesn't get the permanent position in Seattle. Unfortunately for him, she winds up getting the permanent position -- though no one but Derek and Richard know it's only because the hotshot turned down Derek's job offer. Her staying really just means we have guaranteed romantic confusion and possible cheating and heartbreak coming, just in time for the last few episodes of the season -- good old-fashioned Grey's Anatomy style.
We pan over Seattle at night as Meredith kicks off this week's voiceover. "We're doctors. We're trained to care for human beings and we're pretty sure we know what to look for: cuts, infection, genetic mutation." After saying last week that they were going to talk about the baby issue, it looks like the talk quickly became a screaming match, and that's what we're lucky enough to see. Callie thinks that Arizona's feelings about not wanting a child make no sense, both because everyone wants kids (oh dear) and because she has roller skates in her shoes. Arizona is mightily pissed off, thinking Callie is saying that something is clearly wrong with her; that she's not natural or womanly, but is instead cold and dead inside. Callie argues that she's not saying that but I agree with Arizona when she says that in a small way, she totally is. She is obviously angry, but she also seems pretty desperate. Callie tries to pull herself together, and after a moment asks Arizona to humor her and picture a little baby. Arizona's mad face is making me laugh -- she pushes her lips together and out and kind of looks like a duck. I'm wondering if this is an acting choice or what Jessica Capshaw also does in real life. Callie gets all wistful and mushy as she describes the sweet baby and its baby smell, and asks if that doesn't just melt Arizona. Arizona isn't melted a drop, and tells Callie that what melts her is them going on a vacation to Spain and drinking Sangria on the beach. Callie gets thoroughly angry and can't believe she isn't getting a baby because Arizona wants some sangria.
There's a commotion and she walks out of her room as Cristina opens the front door to a desperate Mark looking for suture kits. He then yells for Arizona and as Owen joins the group he manages to spit out, "Baby, now!" just as Sloan lets out a loud scream. They all run in and find Teddy in one of Mark's shirts holding the baby, and everyone springs into action. Callie runs to get Arizona's bag while Teddy cuts the cord, and then Arizona takes the baby, who still has yet to let out a cry. Teddy assures Sloan that she did great while Arizona massages the little guy's chest and coos at him, and eventually he lets out a cry. Callie runs in just in time to see her hand him gently over to Mark, and it appears the sight hits her like a knife in the chest. She recovers quickly, though, and beams at him as he grins at the cute baby in his arms.
Derek is meeting with some dude in his office and Mere comes across Cristina waiting nervously outside. When Mere tries to ask her if she helped deliver Sloan's baby Cristina shuts her down because the dude in Derek's office is someone named Tom Evans, and she begs Meredith to act cool. As Teddy walks by Cristina calls the news after her and catches Teddy by surprise -- turns out the guy is a famous cardiothoracic surgeon who is going to be doing a "bloodless cabbage on a beating heart" that day. Is he going to chop up a salad inside someone's chest cavity all while keeping the knife clean? Cristina is surprised that Teddy didn't know about it but encourages her to scrub in, but Teddy sneezes and then gets a page and leaves.