Hot Major Hunt is the new Head of Trauma at Seattle Grace, and for his first day he holds a clinic for all of the residents. Just in case we didn't remember that he's unorthodox, he unveils four sedated pigs, and promptly stabs each one of them with knife; the residents need to save them. Animal-loving Izzie thinks he's a barbarian, and storms out of the room. Everyone else keeps working away until a big trauma comes in to the ER, so Hunt leaves only Cristina (whose name he had to ask) and her interns to work on the pigs -- she is predictably ticked and irked even more by the fact that Lexie has named the pigs and cares about them too much. But when one starts to crash, she gets involved too and after a complicated surgery they save his life. Hunt comes in and is amazed at the sheer amount of crazy surgery they performed and after congratulating them, orders Cristina to put them all down. She gets pissed and yells at him -- both about the pigs and about not knowing her name earlier. He explains that the pigs are in such horrible shape that the humane thing is to put them down now, and also explains that he remembered her name, but that the kiss they had was "before." Before he went back to Iraq and 19 of his men were killed, that is. Now he's discharged and struggling to deal with what happened, and so he and Cristina appear to be a no-go.
There are some couples in better shape, even though it takes them the whole hour to get there. Alex and Izzie have been hooking up for a week, so he then asks her if he should go ahead and stop sleeping with [insert name of young hot hospital employee here]. Izzie throws a fit, but that night he comes in and admits that he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to talking about feelings and being a boyfriend, and asks Izzie to teach him. He picked up the asking/learning technique from Major Hunt who, when confronted by Derek and Mark for not doing things their way, asks them sincerely how he should do things here because it's quite different than being in the field in a war zone. So Izzie starts to kiss Alex, and they will be happy for I'm sure at least five minutes or so. Callie and Erica are also now having sex and Erica has a revelation -- sex with Callie is way better than any sex she's had before, and she had no idea it could be this good. She's totally gay! It involves crying, which freaks out Callie, so Callie sleeps with Mark to see if she likes girls or boys better. Turns out she likes both, but she decides she wants to be with Erica, admits she slept with Sloane, and so they seem to be okay for now too. And Lexie finally is able to tell George she that she's sorry -- she takes things too personally but she needs to not do that, especially at work, and the two of them bond over macaroni and cheese.
Richard, fully realizing Bailey's extreme awesomeness, puts her in charge for the day to see how she handles his job. A 10-year-old girl with an inoperable tumor is brought in, and it's Bailey's job to figure out how to save her. Bailey picks Mere to help her out, since she noticed Mere brought in a childhood toy that she'd found in her mother's things -- Anatomy Jane. Anatomy Jane's organs can all be taken out and put back in again, and Mere is inspired by that to suggest that they take out all of the girl's organs, remove the tumor, and put them back in again. Bailey runs the show and, despite a lot of bickering between her and Erica, the surgery ends up working. Once again Bailey proves that she's awesome, a true leader, and the total heart and soul of Seattle Grace.
So, it looks like I should just make an apology/correction a regular feature of my recaps. This time, I have to admit that despite two viewings of the scene, I totally missed when Sloane referred to his, er, skills as "The Sloane Method." In my defense, he was taking off his shirt as he said it and also, the idea of it is really just as good no matter what it is called. But, hot naked torsos aside, I totally blew it. And with that, on to our recap!
Oh wait, first ABC wants you to know that no animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Okay, really on to the recap!
Mere is at her house, surrounded by boxes. Derek is looking exasperated, as usual, and notes that the plan was not to open any boxes, but just to move them to the attic. They are clearing out her mom's office for Derek, and Mere can't seem to resist opening some -- first, she pulls out a ragged old bunny. It's very weird to see her looking at things from her childhood with actual happiness, but it's a nice change from the norm. After the bunny, she pulls out a doll that is Barbie-esque, but much less glamorous. This is Anatomy Jane, and once you take off her hospital gown, you can remove a panel in her abdomen to reveal all of her organs. While Mere plays with Anatomy Jane, she VO's, "For a surgeon, every patient is a battlefield. They're our terrain. Where we advance, retreat, try to remove all the land mines." Actual Meredith pulls out Jane's organs and comments, "And she still has her little twosh!" The look of horror on Derek's face when he asks, "Her what??" is priceless. Mere explains that when she was younger she couldn't remember the actual names of the organs, so she made up her own. I have a very hard time imagining Ellis putting up with that, but Mere must have done it during the long periods where Ellis just didn't notice that she was there.
"Just when you think you've won the battle, made the world safe again," Izzie rolls over and, come ON, makeup people. No one wakes up looking that perfect. You could muss her up a little bit, couldn't you? VO: "Along comes another land mine." Iz looks at Alex, who is sitting on the side of the bed and asks unceremoniously, "So are we screwing other people, or not?" It's how every girl dreams of being greeted in the morning, and Izzie acts accordingly. Alex explains that he wants to know if she's going to run off and screw George or someone, because then he won't have to cancel his plans with another doctor. She storms out while calling him an ass. If I had a nickel for every time she announced that Alex was an ass, I'd have at least a few dollars by now. It's kind of like how my boss' son tells me, "UCLA sucks!" or some variation every time he visits the office. I've been pleading with him to come up with new material, at least, to keep it interesting, but it's a little much to ask of an 11-year-old. But hey, that answers the question of what maturity level Izzie is generally operating on.