Callie, Cristina and Teddy are meeting with Nick to explain about the tumor in his heart and how they plan to take it out. Teddy falls all over herself to say that he's in the absolute best hands with Cristina, but he's much more interested to find out where Arizona is rather than to hear about this procedure. Callie tries to sound normal when she says that Arizona has been busy with patients, but everyone knows it's a lie. Nick isn't terribly interested in having heart surgery only to earn himself a few extra months of life, much of which would be spent in pain, especially when his best friend is trying to avoid him. He thinks that it sounds much better to live out the rest of his days on the beach in Belize, and tells Callie to wish Arizona goodbye for him.
Derek finds Meredith and tells her that both Harvard and Owen would like an answer that day. Meredith tells him easily that they aren't going, but Derek has quite warmed to the idea of relocating to Beantown and he reminds her with a smile that he has family on the East Coast. Meredith isn't swayed by this especially since her one good family member is here in Seattle, and she adds that if Cristina goes to Stanford they are only a two-hour plane ride away from each other. Derek counters that if Cristina goes to Columbia, Boston is just a two-hour train ride away. I think it's actually closer to four, but who's counting? Mere is totally stubborn about staying so Derek stops the cute act and tells her seriously that Harvard wants him to run the whole neurology department. Meredith counters that Richard and Bailey love her, and then the Shepherds just growl at each other: he insists they are going and she that they are staying.
In the ER, Alex calls to April -- calling her "Apes" -- and offers nicely to split the patients. She is obviously in deep shit if Alex is going out of his way to be nice to her and give her what he seems to think is an endearing nickname, and she knows that and is totally angry about it. She insists that she still has three great job offers and he tries to agree, but it's really forced cheer. Richard then calls him over to talk.
He tells Alex that he just got a call from a friend named Keith Collier, who was one of Alex's examiners, and Keith is going to be calling Alex imminently. Alex is right to be horrified, but it turns out that Keith was impressed by Alex's balls and bad temper, and wants to offer him a pediatric fellowship at Hopkins. Alex is genuinely thrilled at the news since it is the best program in the country. April has been unabashedly eavesdropping and she calls out that Hopkins already chose their fellows for next year but Richard beams and says that's why this is exciting -- they would be adding a position just for Alex. Oh my lord. Kids, seriously, don't try this at home. Telling off your examiner and walking out of your test (after arriving late) don't usually get you everything you have ever dreamed about. I have been so sick of Alex lately but I do still like him for some reason, so it makes me happy that he's successful, but come ON. Oh well. Soon enough there will be far more implausible scenarios to swallow and this will be nothing. Even Alex thinks Richard is playing a really cruel practical joke but Richard giddily tells him that he's got nothing at stake here, and he's totally serious. While Alex still kind of doubts this is going to happen, Richard tells him to make sure his ringer is on.